The top five saw a rather large shakeup this week, with some houses unable to halt their unfortunate slides and others seizing power that they’ve not had in decades. Let’s get to it, shall we?
1. House Targaryen (Last week: 4)
Let’s see, in a window of about five minutes, Daenerys repossessed her largest dragon, gained the loyalty of her first arm, and sacked an entire city of slavers who respected her about as much as a chamber pot. I’d say that makes Team Dany more than deserving of its first trip to the top.
2. House Tyrell (Lw: 1)
Make no mistake, the Tyrells are as dangerous and manipulative as every other family in this show, but at least they’re nice about it. Sansa may have wild fantasies about how appealing a marriage to Loras would be, but what she doesn’t know is how much more power it gives to an enemy of her family.
3. The Wildlings (Lw: 2)
Sure, these guys were MIA last week, but at this point there’s like 5,000 Wildlings for every man of the Night’s Watch. And the celibate Crows aren’t exactly the 300 Spartans, are they? The free folk will be rocketing back up these rankings again soon enough.
4. House Lannister (Lw: 5)
Just stop it Joffrey. None of us want to like you. You aren’t fooling anyone, so stop pretending to be a decent person for a change. Go back to being a douche already, that’s a lot more fun to talk about.
5. Brotherhood without Banners (Lw: 6)
I dig the Brotherhood. They’re like the socialists of Westeros. Not sure how much power that outlook will grant them in the long run, but no one can ever accuse them of not being fair and just.
6. House Stark (Lw: 3)
Unless you count Catelyn showing up in a dream sequence, then the only Starks we saw last week were the children, and none of them did a single thing to help their family’s cause. Come on kids, you’ve had two and half seasons to learn how to fend for yourselves. Start pulling your weight already!
7. House Baratheon (Lw: 7)
It sucks to be Ser Davos this season. You get stranded on an island for who knows how long, and as soon as you’re rescued your king throws you into a dungeon. Then you sit the next three episodes out. His surname may not be Baratheon, but Davos supports this family more than anyone, and so his fortunes are very much tied to where it is ranked.
8. House Tully (Lw: 8)
Here’s where things get confusing for these rankings. Catelyn’s married into the Starks, so clearly she will always be mentioned there, but she started out as a Tully, so should she have an effect on where this group winds up too? I can ponder about stuff like this because Brynden and Edmure were no where in sight in the last episode.
9. House Greyjoy (Lw: 9)
That’s two weeks in a row that Theon has given the Night’s Watch a run for its money. If he’s the only Greyjoy who’s going to appear in 2013, then the Ironborn aren’t even going to sniff the top five.
10. The Night’s Watch (Lw: 10)
I was wrong about you, Night’s Watch. You’re not as useless as the Oakland Raiders. You’re worse. The Raiders may be a pitiful lot, but at least they don’t kill each other.