Monthly Archives: January 2015

Survivor Worlds Apart: Insanely Early Preview by Kevin W

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I love judging people with as little information as possible. It is one of the perks of being a human. You can take a look at somebody and form all sorts of opinions about their personality. What other animal does that? You think a penguin meets another penguin and then mutters, “douchebag” under his breath? Probably not.

Since I love judging people based on very minimal information and I love Survivor, this is my favorite time of the year. When the new cast of the next season of Survivor is revealed. All you get is a short video and a few answers to some dumb questions that they wrote while they were well rested and full of food. So things obviously change as the real struggle begins. Which makes these predictions even more ridiculous. But that won’t stop me from jumping to some ridiculous conclusions.

The twist this season is “White Collar vs Blue Collar vs No Collar”. And yes, we Survivor fans know that “No Collar” is not a thing okay? But Jeff Probst came up with it and he is extremely proud so let’s all just move on alright?

I will break this cast down by tribe. But first you should familiarize yourself with the cast here.

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Roman’s Controversial Reign by Jesse Schaffer

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The Royal Rumble has transformed from being one of the most exciting wrestling events of the year to operating as the most perversely entertaining night on the WWE calendar. Instead of serving as a launching pad to help the next big superstar get over, it plays off more like a heated argument between WWE and its passionate fan base, illustrating just how little the two parties see eye-to-eye on the way the show is booked. For the second year in a row, the outcome of one of WWE’s most storied matches was unanimously rejected by the WWE Universe and the main culprit behind that wave of nuclear heat is one Daniel Bryan. Or rather, the absence of Daniel Bryan.

Myself and basically every other wrestling fan in the world could see this coming from a mile away. The hardcore snarks in attendance at the Wells Fargo Center were passionately behind Bryan right from the get-go, serenading him with the loudest pop of the night. When Bryan was discarded from the Rumble like any other guy, the enthusiasm in that building deflated more quickly than a New England Patriots football. From that moment on, Roman Reigns had no chance. Philly was furious at this development and they were going to ensure that Vince McMahon, Triple H and everyone else in WWE knew about it. The message from WWE was clear – Daniel Bryan will never be “the guy” no matter how much you cheer for him.

And the answer from the audience was resounding: FUCK. THAT. SHIT.

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Pegboard 3:16 Says It’s Time to Rumble by Jesse Schaffer

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When I was a kid, my parents would take me to Blockbuster or another video rental store now and then so I could check out a new game or a movie. That’s right people, a VIDEO RENTAL store. We are going way back in the vault on this one. This was also about the time when I first started watching wrestling, and every one of those stores had a pretty vast collection of WWE pay-per-views on VHS. Yikes, we better get this thing going before I really start to feel old.

One of the first tapes I rented back then was the 1991 Royal Rumble. The Royal Rumble is a giant battle-royal featuring 30 WWE superstars. Starting with just two wrestlers in the ring at the beginning, another man (or sometimes a woman, yay diversity!) enters the match every couple of minutes until all 30 participants have come out. An elimination occurs when a superstar is thrown over the top rope and on to the floor, and the Rumble doesn’t end until all but one of the participants have been tossed out. Oh, and the winner gets a WWE Title match at Wrestlemania. I was mesmerized by this concept and it wasn’t long before I begged my mom to make a return trip to the video store so I could check out the 1992 Rumble. And the 1993 one. And 1994. Yeah, I was addicted.

Now that we are on the cusp of the 2015 Royal Rumble, I thought it would be a good idea to channel that addiction I’ve had since my childhood and turn it into something positive for Pegboards. I’m going to take 10 confirmed and possible Rumble participants and tell you why they may or may not be this year’s winner. This won’t include some of the more recognizable ones, as I’m sick of merely looking at Big Show and Kane, much less trying to write about them, and this isn’t necessarily ranked in order of least likely to win to most likely. Instead, I focused more on who I believe will be making the biggest impact tonight, which is another way of saying I’m trying to predict how the occasionally inept WWE will book it’s second biggest event of the year. Which probably means half of these guys won’t even be there. Fun all around!

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Ku-Biak to the Future by Jesse Schaffer

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I spent the last week trying to make sense of everything that has happened. Last Sunday, the Broncos were primed to make another run at the Super Bowl. The roster was much healthier and supposedly more talented than the one from the year before, providing plenty of incentive to feel hopeful about our chances. Then the game started and all of that optimism disappeared on the horizon as quickly as a winter sunset. Not only did the Broncos get outplayed by an inferior Colts team, but the coaching staff did little to adjust when things went awry and the players went out without so much as a whimper.

This was completely unacceptable, or as John Elway put it so bluntly, if the Broncos were going to lose then they needed to go down “kicking and screaming.” They didn’t, seemingly content with a fourth-straight AFC West title and yet another one and done showing in the playoffs. On a team whose expectations were sky high heading into the season, someone had to pay for such a lackluster, uninspired effort in the first game of the 2014 campaign that truly mattered. That someone turned out to be John Fox.

Flash forward to today and Elway has made the parameters of his revised “Plan A” abundantly clear; in order to claim more Super Bowl titles in the future, the Broncos are going to re-embrace their past. Enter Gary Kubiak, returning to Denver after nine years in a quest for that elusive third Lombardi trophy. It just feels oh so right.

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“Mass Effect” Review by Jesse Schaffer

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My name is Vigil. You are are safe here for the moment, but that is likely to change. Soon nowhere will be safe.

When I purchased my first Xbox 360 back in 2007, I did so mainly because I wanted Halo 3. I owned the first two on the original Xbox and so for me it was an easy decision to make. However, I’ve never been much of an online gamer so once I breezed through Halo 3’s disappointingly short campaign (oh yes, we will get to that in a future post), I was left looking for something else to sink my teeth into.  Then one day I was at a friend’s house and he was playing this little game called Mass Effect. I wasn’t necessarily a stranger to the game. After all, BioWare was the developer behind Mass Effect and they just happened to also create Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, which is quite possibly my favorite game ever. For whatever reason, I just hadn’t stayed up to date on Mass Effect but knowing that BioWare was behind it and seeing it in action for myself, I made a mental note to buy my own copy when I had the chance. Then my fucking 360 broke.

Ah yes, all you 360 owners out there know what I’m talking about: the three rings of death, the ultimate middle finger to anyone who dropped $300 or more on a faulty product. Being a poor college student who was paying rent, it took me about a year to replace the damn thing, but when I did the first game I picked up was Mass Effect. I was relieved to be back on my digital saddle and excited to finally play it for myself, but little did I know that I was about to embark on the beginning of my all-time favorite video game trilogy.

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