I love judging people with as little information as possible. It is one of the perks of being a human. You can take a look at somebody and form all sorts of opinions about their personality. What other animal does that? You think a penguin meets another penguin and then mutters, “douchebag” under his breath? Probably not.

Since I love judging people based on very minimal information and I love Survivor, this is my favorite time of the year. When the new cast of the next season of Survivor is revealed. All you get is a short video and a few answers to some dumb questions that they wrote while they were well rested and full of food. So things obviously change as the real struggle begins. Which makes these predictions even more ridiculous. But that won’t stop me from jumping to some ridiculous conclusions.

The twist this season is “White Collar vs Blue Collar vs No Collar”. And yes, we Survivor fans know that “No Collar” is not a thing okay? But Jeff Probst came up with it and he is extremely proud so let’s all just move on alright?

I will break this cast down by tribe. But first you should familiarize yourself with the cast here.

White Collar:

Oh White Collar people. This is the tribe that the show wants you to hate. They are the 1%! They make the rules! They have worked hard and are successful human beings! Those bastards!

Most Likely Alliance to Form:

Max, Shirin, So and Tyler- They are all around the same age. They all seem like calm, sane people (on Survivor?!?). And they all seem like really savvy Survivor fans.

Most Likely to be Voted out First:

Carolyn- I am sorry. I like you. You want to play like Denise and I respect that. You seem like a real fan too. But I think these 30 somethings are gonna team up. And your only real shot at saving yourself is if Joaquin overplays his hand or loses his marbles. Which is actually very likely.

The Character You Will Love to Hate:

This is a tough race between Joaquin and Max. Look I like the former Survivor Professor but something tells me he is playing to be remembered and not necessarily to win. Much like Kass, except he actually could become a great character and a great winner, much like Tony. Max is definitely in this for the long game.

With that in mind I could see him playing a snarky villain(ish) role. Nothing too far but just enough to be invited back for an inevitable Heroes vs Villains 2. Mark it down, this is not the last time you will see Max.

As for Joaquin, I see him being much more of a real life villain and less of a Survivor Villain. One of those guys that might create some interesting drama but ultimately you want off of your screen. I think he will make his mark but will an early boot. And the season will be better for it.

Most Likely to Win:

What I envision for this tribe is an early Tribal Council in episode 1 or 2. The 30-year-olds align to eliminate their “weaker and older” member in Carolyn. The tribe stays intact until a tribe shuffle. This is where one of the four 30-year-olds (Tyler, So, Shirin, Max) get on the wrong side of the numbers and eventually lose their game because of it. I will guess Tyler based on nothing. Meanwhile Joaquin gets eliminated before the merge in a Drew Christy-esque episode. While So, Shirin and Max all go pretty far in the game. My guess is that Max is too much of an obvious threat, Shirin gets damn close but So gets further than both of them. I am not sure she is winner material yet but I can definitely see her at Final Tribal.

Most Likely to Return in the Future:

I already stated my case for Max. He knows there is more value in being a returnee than risk being forgotten. So he will play as a character. My other returnee here? Shirin. Strong, independent woman who will definitely hold her own. I could see her do good in her first seasn but dominate in her second.

Blue Collar:

Ahh the hard workers of the world. Imagine the grit, dirt, and effort that these people put into their jobs as a cop, oil driller, postal worker, general contractor and hairdresser. Wait what? A hairdresser? Look being a hairdresser is difficult. I mean imagine all the awkward, forced conversations they have to have with their customers! No seriously, I mean no disrespect, I just never envisioned hairdresser as a blue collar job. Plus Lindsey has a face tattoo. A face tattoo is the definition of no collar! Really look it up, oh wait you can’t because ‘no collar’ isn’t a thing Jeff Probst! Anyway…

Most Likely Alliance to Form:

Dan, Kelly, Mike and Sierra- the first three look like a likely alliance. Sierra just looks smart enough to see where the numbers are and to jump on ship with them. Again age looks like a big factor here. Then again Mike could swing younger and form a Sierra, Lindsey and Rod alliance. But I think Rod is too much of a…liability. Of course if they lose challenges early on, Dan could be an early target.

Most Likely to be Voted out First:

Rodney- He is pretty damn close with Lindsey though. Honestly Lindseys that have tattoos and are hairdressers and single moms have a bad rep on this show so maybe I am being unfair. But something tells me she won’t mesh well with the other people or the circumstances. Rodney on the other hand is a firecracker and he is going to go down in flames. I am giving Rodney my official 0.0% chance to win the game. Seriously read this interview and you’ll see.

The Character You Will Love to Hate:

Rodney- I have a feeling we will be talking about this guy for quite sometime. He has the classic signs of a memorable downfall. He is cocky, aggressive and not a fan of the show. He has no idea what is coming for him. I can’t wait to hate this guy.

Most Likely to Win:

Mike- He is a likable and calm guy. He is at a good age where he can get along with anyone and he seems very adaptable. He might be a bit boring for this game but he has the vibe of someone that could play a damn good game.

Most Likely to Return in the Future:

Dan- I love Dan. I want Dan to be on my TV as much as possible. He is a true fan and with the right circumstances he could have a hell of a shot at winning this game. He seems likeable and will probably be a great narrator for the Blue Collar tribe. I will be rooting for the guy but he might have a tough time surviving the pre-merge based on his age and athleticism.

No Collar:

Uh oh. Every time there is a three tribe season it seems that there is one tribe that loses early and often. Saboga in All-Stars dropped the first two challenges, Matsing in Philippines dropped the first four challenges and Luzon in Cagayan dropped three of the first four challenges. Each tribe went on to have at least two members in the final four of the game. It is a strong pattern and I think it plays out this season as well. And I believe this is the tribe to do it.

They seem younger than the other tribes but they seem to lack a chemistry. They are all over the place. I foresee a lack of challenge organization and emotional tribal councils. Not a good combination.

Most Likely Alliance to Form:

Jenn, Joe, Vince- Joe seems like the smartest one out of the three. I find it likely that everyone on the tribe will want to work with him. I see him building an alliance of people he can manipulate. Plus if they are losing early challenges than Will and Nina seem likely to take the blame.

Most Likely to be Voted Out First:

Will- I love Will. I love his Youtube video. He seems like a great guy and would be very good TV if he was given a shot. But he might be too normal for this tribe. He believes his strength is his social game but he will be socializing with some crazy kids and Nina. I just don’t see a way he survives this.

The Character You Will Love to Hate:

Hate is too strong of a word. But I would say either Hali or Vince. The former because she seems like she has somewhat of an attitude and will think she is smarter than everyone on the tribe. The latter because he seems so crazy that you won’t be able to buy his act. Again I don’t think hate is the right word. We will probably just be chuckling and shaking our head at Vince.

Most Likely to Win:

Joe- Like Mike he is calm and collected. He seems in control of his emotions and he seems like he is really here to win. I feel like everyone will want to work with him and that will take him quite far. I like Nina too if she had been placed on another tribe.

Most Likely to Return in the Future:

Any of them. My gut says Jenn and Vince if they wanted to. But my gut tells me they won’t want to. Both seem like they will enjoy the experience but won’t jump at the chance to do it again. Although Jenn is a real fan so perhaps she can be convinced.

Summary:

Possible Winners:

Max, Shirin, So, Dan, Mike and Joe

Possible Returnees:

All of the above plus Jenn and Vince

Possible First Boots:

Carolyn, Joaquin, Lindsey, RODNEY, Hali and Will

Unofficial Final Three Prediction:

Mike, So and Kelly

Alright there it is folks. Exactly how this season is going to go. Everything is correct, go ahead and place your bets!