Monthly Archives: April 2015

Game of Thrones: “High Sparrow” Review

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Welcome home Lady Stark. The North remembers. 

Much like Lady Sansa, I found our return trip to Winterfell to be oddly disturbing. It doesn’t feel like the same place anymore. Not with the treacherous Boltons installed as the leaders and especially without the presence of a single Stark when she entered through the gate. Unbeknownst to any of them, Stannis had planned on marching on Winterfell with the newly christened Jon Stark to rectify that very problem. But that wasn’t Jon’s destiny. He’s where he belongs, settling matters at the Wall between the Night’s Watch and the Wildlings while the White Walkers continue plotting and planning on the other side. Sansa, on the other hand, isn’t part of the Night’s Watch. She will likely never swing a sword or be a heroine in some great battle, but it is still very much her burden now to help reclaim the land that was stolen from her family.

If the North remembers, then Sansa surely hasn’t forgotten who is to blame for the downfall of the Starks. And there she is now, set to be married to the son of the man who plunged a knife into her brother’s heart. As Littlefinger once told her, “Given the opportunity, what do we do to those who hurt the ones we love?”

We’re about to find out just how much Sansa has been taking Littlefinger’s lessons to heart, and just what she’s willing to do to those who killed the ones that she loves.

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Game of Thrones: “The House of Black and White” Review

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We’ve already got a ruler. Everywhere has already got a ruler. Every pile of shit on the side of every road has someone’s banner hanging from it.  

Tyrion Lannister’s greatest asset has always been his wit. Whether he is formulating a strategy on the fly or cracking a joke, he always knows what to say and what to do at precisely the right moment. It is that mixture of keen intellect and deadpan humor that subverts Tyrion’s status as a dwarf, and it’s what has kept him alive for this long while bigger and stronger men have dropped around him like flies. Beneath that lies something even more valuable: a basic understanding of the world and how things are. He and Varys have that in common. It’s why they have made such a great team in the past and why they currently find themselves together in a stuffy wooden box, riding into the unknown.

There are two kinds of rulers in Westeros: ones who are monsters and ones who are repulsive. Varys believes that Tyrion is the key to establishing Daenerys Targaryen as the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, but Tyrion has been a slave to a monster before and has no intention of finding himself in that position again. Considering that the last Targaryen in power was known as the Mad King, his reluctance to follow Varys’ plan may be well-founded.

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Pegboards’ Third Annual NFL Mock Draft

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Welcome to our third annual NFL Mock Draft! What we lack in analysis we make up for in poor attempts at humor! This year Kevin will be picking the odds and Jesse the evens. Trades are allowed and encouraged.

1. Tampa Bay Buccaneers- Jameis Winston, QB Florida St

Kevin: Finally a draft that actually has some talented QBs at the top of the board. Far more interesting than picking between two top tackles. You know what isn’t interesting? Trying to predict Jameis Winston’s off the field behavior. The first overall pick isn’t as risky as it used to be thanks to the rookie scale. So if he messes up off the field then it is what it is. But he is worth the risk. It is a good fit for Winston as he gets to throw to big ol’ Vincent Jackson and hand off to Doug Martin.

2. Tennessee Titans- Marcus Mariota, QB Oregon:

Jesse: I desperately tried to avoid slotting Mariota to the Titans here. I thought that Kevin would bite if I let him know that the Titans were interested in moving back. No dice. Then I attempted to work out a deal with one of my other teams. Nothing came to fruition. Finally, I contemplated passing on Mariota all together and taking someone else. Alas, it was futile. I do think that some team is going to trade up and get him (Cleveland reportedly already offered two first-rounders to do just that) but in this scenario, Tennessee had a chance to land their first franchise QB since Steve McNair. And they took it.

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Survivor Worlds Apart Episode 10: Raise Your Hand

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Come on in guys for my latest Survivor Worlds Apart recap. Much like the game of Survivor I like to keep my readers on their toes. So this recap is quite different than the format I have been doing before.

Episode 10 of Survivor Worlds Apart was one of the most emotionally driven, cold-blooded episodes of Survivor of all-time. I know that reads as hyperbolic for a reality show but Survivor is not your average drama-fueled show.

Survivor is a game show first, reality show second. The game aspect is what sets it apart from many of the trashy, drama driven reality shows that we are all used to. That isn’t to say that Survivor hasn’t had its’ moments of drama over the years.

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Survivor Worlds Apart Episode 9: Greg Buis 2.0

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Come on in guys for my Survivor Worlds Apart Episode 9 Review where I use classic Survivor quotes to assess the latest episode.

Way back in season 1 of Survivor there was a wonderful contestant named Greg Buis. He invented the nature phone, saw some cool flying fish and did not count his chickens before they hatched.

Greg is still one of the most unique contestants to ever grace the screen on Survivor. Why? Well all of this and because he did not give a shit about the game…allegedly.

Call it strategy or call it hipster but Greg was above the game. He was there to have fun and mess with people who were taking the game seriously. Production could hardly handle him but America couldn’t get enough of him.

When his name was on the chopping block he basically threw in the towel. He acted like he didn’t care, like he didn’t want to play anyway. And when he was voted out he expressed a large amount of mock sadness.

Maybe he didn’t really care about the game. Or maybe it was all apart of his strategy. Or perhaps he was a poor sport that dealt with losing in a very unique manner.

29 seasons later and we finally have found our Greg Buis 2.0. She is funny, she is kind of mean and she gives absolutely zero f***s. Jenn Brown everyone!

So Jenn is making it known she doesn’t want to play anymore. And she is actively trying to quit in the most creative way possible. Thanks for trying to make it entertaining Jenn but you can go ahead and leave if you aren’t having fun.

Then again back in Survivor Amazon there was a certain female contestant named Jenna who wanted to quit on day 36! And look what happened to her.

Spoilers Below:

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Better Call Saul- “Marco” Review, The Old Con

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Addictions are weird things. You work hard to rid of them and you are doing great for a period of time. And then something happens and it triggers your brain to fall back into old habits.

The trigger could be all kinds of things. Seeing an old friend, depression, a fight with a loved one, some guy cutting you off in traffic or hell, the smell of a freshly baked cookie.

The trigger doesn’t need to make sense. It’s like your brain is just finding any sort of excuse to get you back to the high of your addiction.

Jimmy isn’t addicted to drinking, smoking or drugs. He gets his high on conning people. And he is damn good at it.

Spoilers below:

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Game of Thrones: “The Wars to Come” Review

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We all must choose: man or woman, young or old, lord or peasant, our choices are the same. We choose light or we choose darkness. We choose good or we choose evil. We choose the true God, or the false.

(This will be a pretty spoiler-heavy review for episode 1 of season 5 and for Game of Thrones in general. DO NOT READ unless you are caught up or are indifferent to having shit spoiled for you. You’ve been warned.)

When Game of Thrones first premiered, Westeros was a stable country that relied on the establishment of its noble houses to keep the peace in the seven kingdoms. Maybe not every lord saw eye to eye, but no one was willing to risk disrupting that kind of tranquility over a meaningless grudge. Part of that is due in thanks to all of the experienced soldiers and commanders that were at the head of almost every faction and family: Ned Stark, Tywin Lannister, Robert Baratheon, Lord Commander Mormont and on and on it goes. Flash forward to season 5 and that’s simply just not the case.

Ever since Ilyn Payne lopped off Ned Stark’s head, we’ve been conditioned to expect anyone who doesn’t play the game of thrones as shrewdly or quickly as others will likely suffer a grisly demise. Westeros thrives on chaos, you see, and getting swept up in the madness without a contingency plan is akin to joining a game of paintball with a slingshot. By the time you realize that you’ve made a mistake and weren’t prepared, it’s too late. Your enemies will celebrate with a barrel of wine while everything you love and hold dear turns to ash around you.

Not every lord or lady truly understands how to play the game, but even those that do aren’t safe from rapidly evolving circumstances. Exhibit A: Tywin Lannister, the Bill Belichick of Westeros, who always seemed to be 10 steps ahead of everyone who tried to thwart him. The mastermind behind a massacre like the Red Wedding is certainly not the most honorable or popular person, but I’ll be damned if he doesn’t get results. And yet, despite all of the success and victories that Tywin accumulated over the years, he was undone by a member of his own family. How ironic that he withstood so many wars and battles, yet in the end it was his dwarf of a son who ended his life. As Tywin’s corpse awaited a certificate of death from all of his rivals in Westeros, Jaime and Cersei were trying to make sense of a future that is grim and hopelessly uncertain.

After all, what chance does the future have when the boys of the new generation can’t even hold their shields up and swing their swords like girls with palsy?

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The Walking Dead Season 5 Part 2 Review: Chocolate Covered Zombies

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The Walking Dead is like a box of chocolates. No this isn’t Forrest Gump reviewing The Walking Dead. This is Kevin catching your attention with a unoriginal hook.

As I was saying, The Walking Dead is like a disgusting, undead box of chocolates. Not so much because you never know what you’re gonna get. More so because if you keep eating you will eventually find something you like.

Oh yes, we Dead fans have been through a lot. We started off lucky and got a pure milk chocolate piece in season one. It was sweet and familiar. It was something we have had before but it was just plain good.

Then we moved onto season two and the farm where we pulled a caramel chocolate piece. It felt like it was never going to end even after we finished it.

Season three was like a coconut chocolate. While technically chocolate the core of the candy leaves a funny taste in your mouth. You feel a bit betrayed but you trudge on anyway.

And in season four we get a cheery creme filled chocolate. Messy and all over the place.

Finally season five comes around and we get our hands on that bitter yet sophisticated taste of pure dark chocolate. It’s more indulgent than the milk chocolate variety but is an acquired taste. It’s darker, more pure, more real and better than you could have imagined.

Take a jump, be wary of the spoilers, and I promise this metaphor will end soon.

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Survivor Worlds Apart Episode 8- Captain Merica

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Come on in guys for my Survivor Worlds Apart Episode 8 Review where I use classic Survivor quotes to assess the latest episode.

There are a lot of elements in the production of Survivor that has kept the show relevant. Despite some questionable decisions we all know that Jeff Probst is the best possible host we could ever ask for. Add him to the stunning camera work and the impeccable music and sound teams and we have quite the beautiful product. 30 seasons in and the team behind the castaways are full blown professionals who still work their asses off for every single episode.

But the most important aspect of the show is the edit. The editors have the gargantuan task of boiling down 936 hours of footage into 15 (ish) hours. They have to craft a story that is interesting but not predictable. After 30 full seasons doing the latter has to be extremely difficult.

Some seasons they show greatness and domination like Redemption Island and One World. Other seasons they focus on how quirky and entertaining the cast is like Gabon and Cagayan. And every once in a while they even focus on big issues like race and religion as seen in Cook Islands and South Pacific.

And then there are some seasons that are so full of explosive characters and moments that the editors get to have their most fun. Worlds Apart is becoming that season where I bet everything on the cutting room floor is almost as entertaining as the actual product.

Take a jump with me as I explore the magnificent edit of this episode and I promise I will prove to you that this superfan knows how to count…and spell.

Spoilers Below:

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Survivor Worlds Apart Episode 7- Stung by an Idol

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Come on in guys for my Survivor Worlds Apart Episode 7 Review where I use classic Survivor quotes to assess the latest episode.

There is something special about merge episodes in Survivor. Way back in Survivor All-Stars we got the historic Boston Rob-Lex betrayal. Or more recently in Survivor Cagayan we were gifted with a double-idol misplay plus a #ChaosKass betrayal that led to Sarah, the “swing-vote”, being booted.

So yeah, every season’s merge episode has a lot to live up to. Survivor Worlds Apart lived up to the hype. Take a jump and I promise I will let you pee on my jellyfish sting.

Spoilers Below:

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