Survivor Kaoh Rong Episode 6: The JV Squad

Come on in guys for my Survivor Kaoh Rong Episode 6 review where I use classic Survivor quotes to assess the latest episode.

People are often perplexed about my love for Survivor. They think this makes me a strange, reality TV obsessed, obnoxious and terrible person. They don’t respect the show as real TV entertainment, instead they believe it to be dramatic garbage that isn’t worth anyone’s time or brain cells. Obviously these people are wrong and I’m going to use this most recent episode as an example that this show has real character driven depth.

Survivor is a massive beast to edit. You have 24 hours of 39 days recorded by numerous cameraman, catching every little conversation that is going on between 18 ish players. That’s nearly 1000 hours of footage that they need to whittle down to about 14 hours of entertainment. Talk about an overwhelming job.

Which makes this last episode even more amazing. Through the first five episodes of the season we were given three very strong and important characters in Tai, Debbie and Jason. They had the most confessionals and seemed to be having the largest impact on the game. This last episode the editors seemingly turn it over to their JV squad. We learned a lot about Nick, Michele, Julia and Aubry, players that were invisible as of last week. And they managed to make them entertaining and compelling television. Now going into a presumed merge next week, we have mostly fleshed out characters in everyone besides maybe Joe. This isn’t reality TV garbage, this is damn good storytelling.

Alright click below to continue reading and I promise to tell you about my modeling days. Spoilers below.
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Survivor Kaoh Rong Episode 1 Review

Come on in guys for my Survivor Kaoh Rong Episode 1 review where I use classic Survivor quotes to assess the latest episode.

You might recall that I previously wrote about Survivor during the mostly controversial season of Worlds Apart. The emotional baggage behind that season was so intense that I decided to take a break for Survivor Cambodia. And now, in the spirit of Cambodia, I am giving this column a second chance. Will the column step up and seize the opportunity like Jeremy? Or will it be super creepy and fail like Vytas? Let’s find out.

13 episodes, 3 months, 1 sole Survivor blog…Sorry I apologize for that. I’ve always wanted to do that.

Alright, go ahead and take the cap off the pen and click below. Oh and watch out for spoilers crawling into your ear.
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Survivor Second Chance Ballot: Males Edition

I already revealed my female ballot here. Now check out who I am voting for the male ballot. Oh and don’t forget to vote here Survivor: Second Chance.

Take a jump with me to see my ballot as I suck a few kneecaps and pander to the pandering.

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Survivor Second Chance Ballot: Females Edition

Oh nothing brings me more joy than pandering. And that is what 32 former Survivor contestants are doing right now. They are pandering, begging, and pleading to get your votes for Survivor: Second Chance. Meanwhile, us the fans are enjoying all of the attention. Maybe a bit too much.

Twitter, Reddit, Facebook, Survivor Sucks, and Podcasts have been bombarding us fans with interviews, posts, AMAs, retweets, videos, and campaign photos. We are at maximum overload of Survivor Meta. It is almost too much.

But what good blogger wouldn’t use this time to take advantage of these poor desperate people? And how cool is it to be a Survivor fan right now? This has to be one of the most fun and rewarding things the show has given us and I could not be more excited.

So take a jump with me to see my ballot as I suck a few kneecaps and pander to the pandering. And check out my male ballot here.

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Survivor Worlds Apart Episode 12: The Forgotten Episode

Come on in guys for my Survivor Worlds Apart Episode 12 Review where I use classic Survivor quotes to assess the latest episode.

Before you leave a nasty comment I want to make it clear that there was an episode of Survivor last week and somebody did get voted off! Shocking right? But in between all of this hoopla for Survivor: Second Chance we somehow are forgetting that a pretty good season of Survivor is still currently on!

Now the only question is am I going to pander to the pandering Survivors who want a Second Chance? Am I going to take advantage of their desperation and post an article about who I am endorsing and then tweet it to them so I get some beautiful retweets? Am I really that desperate to take advantage of this giant marketing ploy? Yes, yes I am. Look for that article to drop soon.

Until then take a jump with me, watch out for spoilers and I promise to tell you about my worst birthday ever!
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Survivor Worlds Apart Episode 11: The Blue Buff’s Bluff

Come on in guys for my Survivor Worlds Apart Episode 11 Review where I use classic Survivor quotes to assess the latest episode.

If you missed it last week I took a break from my usual format to discuss some serious real-life issues being dealt with in Survivor. 

Thankfully this week we find ourselves back on track into a lighter, more fun and strategic episode of the show we all know and love.

With that I have brought back my format of using famous Survivor quotes to assess the game. Make the jump with me and feel free to leave a comment!

Spoilers Below:

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Survivor Worlds Apart Episode 10: Raise Your Hand

Come on in guys for my latest Survivor Worlds Apart recap. Much like the game of Survivor I like to keep my readers on their toes. So this recap is quite different than the format I have been doing before.

Episode 10 of Survivor Worlds Apart was one of the most emotionally driven, cold-blooded episodes of Survivor of all-time. I know that reads as hyperbolic for a reality show but Survivor is not your average drama-fueled show.

Survivor is a game show first, reality show second. The game aspect is what sets it apart from many of the trashy, drama driven reality shows that we are all used to. That isn’t to say that Survivor hasn’t had its’ moments of drama over the years.

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Survivor Worlds Apart Episode 9: Greg Buis 2.0

Come on in guys for my Survivor Worlds Apart Episode 9 Review where I use classic Survivor quotes to assess the latest episode.

Way back in season 1 of Survivor there was a wonderful contestant named Greg Buis. He invented the nature phone, saw some cool flying fish and did not count his chickens before they hatched.

Greg is still one of the most unique contestants to ever grace the screen on Survivor. Why? Well all of this and because he did not give a shit about the game…allegedly.

Call it strategy or call it hipster but Greg was above the game. He was there to have fun and mess with people who were taking the game seriously. Production could hardly handle him but America couldn’t get enough of him.

When his name was on the chopping block he basically threw in the towel. He acted like he didn’t care, like he didn’t want to play anyway. And when he was voted out he expressed a large amount of mock sadness.

Maybe he didn’t really care about the game. Or maybe it was all apart of his strategy. Or perhaps he was a poor sport that dealt with losing in a very unique manner.

29 seasons later and we finally have found our Greg Buis 2.0. She is funny, she is kind of mean and she gives absolutely zero f***s. Jenn Brown everyone!

So Jenn is making it known she doesn’t want to play anymore. And she is actively trying to quit in the most creative way possible. Thanks for trying to make it entertaining Jenn but you can go ahead and leave if you aren’t having fun.

Then again back in Survivor Amazon there was a certain female contestant named Jenna who wanted to quit on day 36! And look what happened to her.

Spoilers Below:

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Survivor Worlds Apart Episode 8- Captain Merica

Come on in guys for my Survivor Worlds Apart Episode 8 Review where I use classic Survivor quotes to assess the latest episode.

There are a lot of elements in the production of Survivor that has kept the show relevant. Despite some questionable decisions we all know that Jeff Probst is the best possible host we could ever ask for. Add him to the stunning camera work and the impeccable music and sound teams and we have quite the beautiful product. 30 seasons in and the team behind the castaways are full blown professionals who still work their asses off for every single episode.

But the most important aspect of the show is the edit. The editors have the gargantuan task of boiling down 936 hours of footage into 15 (ish) hours. They have to craft a story that is interesting but not predictable. After 30 full seasons doing the latter has to be extremely difficult.

Some seasons they show greatness and domination like Redemption Island and One World. Other seasons they focus on how quirky and entertaining the cast is like Gabon and Cagayan. And every once in a while they even focus on big issues like race and religion as seen in Cook Islands and South Pacific.

And then there are some seasons that are so full of explosive characters and moments that the editors get to have their most fun. Worlds Apart is becoming that season where I bet everything on the cutting room floor is almost as entertaining as the actual product.

Take a jump with me as I explore the magnificent edit of this episode and I promise I will prove to you that this superfan knows how to count…and spell.

Spoilers Below:

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Survivor Worlds Apart Episode 7- Stung by an Idol

Come on in guys for my Survivor Worlds Apart Episode 7 Review where I use classic Survivor quotes to assess the latest episode.

There is something special about merge episodes in Survivor. Way back in Survivor All-Stars we got the historic Boston Rob-Lex betrayal. Or more recently in Survivor Cagayan we were gifted with a double-idol misplay plus a #ChaosKass betrayal that led to Sarah, the “swing-vote”, being booted.

So yeah, every season’s merge episode has a lot to live up to. Survivor Worlds Apart lived up to the hype. Take a jump and I promise I will let you pee on my jellyfish sting.

Spoilers Below:

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