Come on in guys for my Survivor Worlds Apart Episode 12 Review where I use classic Survivor quotes to assess the latest episode.

Before you leave a nasty comment I want to make it clear that there was an episode of Survivor last week and somebody did get voted off! Shocking right? But in between all of this hoopla for Survivor: Second Chance we somehow are forgetting that a pretty good season of Survivor is still currently on!

Now the only question is am I going to pander to the pandering Survivors who want a Second Chance? Am I going to take advantage of their desperation and post an article about who I am endorsing and then tweet it to them so I get some beautiful retweets? Am I really that desperate to take advantage of this giant marketing ploy? Yes, yes I am. Look for that article to drop soon.

Until then take a jump with me, watch out for spoilers and I promise to tell you about my worst birthday ever!

I can get loud too! WHAT THE F***? (AKA the quote(s) of the week)

“There is a 0.0000% chance of that happening” -Rodney

And that is when you knew there was a 100% chance that Rodney would not be taken on the reward.

Rodney bitching about his birthday is pure gold. He couldn’t stop. “I have to do dishes on my birthday. I have to walk on my birthday. I have to sit in this chair on my birthday. And I don’t get to pah-ty on my birthday!”

He even went so far to call it his worst birthday ever. My worst birthday ever involved my tipsy mother stealing Tabasco sauce from a Village Inn at one in the morning. Or was that my best birthday ever? I still can’t decide.

I will give you some advice in your own words Rodney. You better relax bro!

Oh my god these guys are so dumb! (AKA this episode’s worst decision)

This is pretty tough this week because there weren’t too many poor decisions. I will go with Tyler’s decision at the end of the episode. After he was voted off he had an opportunity to blow some people’s games up but he stayed quiet.

He could have revealed Carolyn’s secret idol. Or he could have snitched about Dan’s extra vote. Or perhaps he could have confirmed that Sierra was in fact on the bottom of the alliance.

Of course that is probably poor sportsmanship but it would have been pretty damn entertaining coming from a guy with such a quiet edit.

I’ve been bamboozled (AKA what surprised me this episode)

When I think of this episode I picture Mike’s shit eating grin that he had throughout. From winning reward which allowed him to eat, bond with Carolyn and Sierra and give him an emotional boost to knowing he was playing his hidden immunity idol, everything just worked out for him tonight.

This surprised me because I thought for sure he would get cocky and not play his idol. Or I thought he would save himself for one week and then be screwed next time. But it seems as if he has convinced Carolyn that he isn’t a bad guy. Who knows, but as of now it seems like Mike actually has a shot at this still.

Who is this jackass? (AKA who has no shot to win and why?)

Can I rename this section Will? Goodness man, aside from your really creepy birthday greeting to Rodney did you do anything this episode? Has there ever been a better goat to drag to the end? Oh yeah, Russell Hantz, I forgot.

Stick to the plan (AKA who is in a good position if they just stick to the plan?)

I want to say Carolyn except for the fact that she has two plans she can stick to. She should still have her alliance of Rodney, Dan and Will or she could convince Sierra to flip with her to Mike’s side. Instead of stick to the plan this section should be ‘Don’t screw this up’.

This is my island (AKA who is running the show)

Carolyn is in total control of this island. She can bounce between the two alliances or just create a new one. Of course if she bounces to Mike’s side then it will be Mike who is in control.

And now, about her move to cut her closest ally in Tyler last episode. I can’t quite decide if I love it or hate it. So let’s break it down in simple terms:

Pros:

• Eliminates a huge challenge threat
• Eliminates a HUGE Final Tribal Council threat
• Eliminates the only person who knows about her hidden immunity idol and Dan’s extra vote
• Eliminates him before he can eliminate her

Cons:

• She is now the only threat to Mike in immunity challenges
• She has a big target on her back now that she is the only White Collar left and she just pulled off a cut throat move.
• Breaks up the Core Four (Rodney, Will, Tyler and herself)
• Eliminates her closest ally/friend/strategist

It is pretty damn close. No one suspected them to be as close as they were and they had a pretty good thing going. On the other hand she knows they have to break up eventually unless she wants to be the Stephen to Tyler’s JT. And there is a precedent for this when Denise eliminated Malcolm at final four (although she was a bit lucky that Malcolm had shaky hands in that immunity challenge and probably should have never let Malcolm get so far).

Ultimately I believe it was the right decision. For all intents and purposes this should win her the game. It’s a big move that she can own at Final Tribal. But for some reason my gut tells me this will also be her downfall. She did the right thing but sometimes doing the right thing doesn’t work out like it should.

FORGET YOU. GO HOME. GOODBYE (AKA my last words for the fallen Survivor)

Oh Shy Ty how I will miss the way you…quietly stare into the distance? Or um…pick your teeth with bamboo? No but seriously I am sad I won’t be able to see you quietly and slowly orchestrate a pagonging of my favorite people. Oh man I’m sorry Tyler I tried but the most interesting thing you did this season was when you were drunk on reddit.