Come on in guys for my Survivor Worlds Apart Episode 7 Review where I use classic Survivor quotes to assess the latest episode.

There is something special about merge episodes in Survivor. Way back in Survivor All-Stars we got the historic Boston Rob-Lex betrayal. Or more recently in Survivor Cagayan we were gifted with a double-idol misplay plus a #ChaosKass betrayal that led to Sarah, the “swing-vote”, being booted.

So yeah, every season’s merge episode has a lot to live up to. Survivor Worlds Apart lived up to the hype. Take a jump and I promise I will let you pee on my jellyfish sting.

Spoilers Below:

I can get loud too! WHAT THE F*^@? (AKA the quote(s) of the week)

Either:

Jeff: “Where did you get stung?”

Jenn: “Where my hand is, Jeff”

or:

Rodney: “I expected me and you to be Scottie Pippen and Michael Jordan. Now I feel like I’m Luc Longley, bro.”

or

Okay the last one isn’t really a quote. But it is pure gold.

Oh my god these guys are so dumb! (AKA this episode’s worst decision)

Merica? Really? If they had gone with ‘Murica then at least it is an obvious gag. And what was with the confessionals about how great the name was? And is anyone else worried about Hali’s reverence for the constitution? I get being respectful but she was sucking the kneecaps of our country! Worst merge tribe name since Nobag in Gabon.

As for strategy my biggest concern is why the No Collar plus Shirin didn’t vote out Mike. Jenn had a perfect idol play but they are so far down in the numbers that they should have pulled a power play and dismantled the other alliance by getting rid of Mike. I suppose Kelly was Mike’s right hand woman and I suppose they might have feared Kelly being a double agent. Or perhaps they wanted to keep Mike around so that Joe doesn’t have as big of a target on his back.

Speaking of Joe, I was pretty surprised at his edit. We saw Jenn and Hali doing all the heavy lifting for the No Collars. And at this point we know everyone is against the No Collars and they are gunning for Joe. Once Joe loses an immunity challenge he is as good as gone. I can’t see anyway out of it for him.

I’ve been bamboozled (AKA what surprised me this episode)

Before the game Rodney claimed he was like no one who has ever played the game before. I scoffed at first but now I am starting to come around to believing him. Here is a cocky, alpha-male who has never seen the show and yet here he is in the post-merge working his ass off to get numbers.

He created the most random alliance with a strange collection of people including Kelly, Will and Carolyn. At this point he hadn’t spoken to Will or Carolyn this entire game! How does he come up with that alliance?

It doesn’t matter in the end because Kelly gets the boot. But every week we are seeing Rodney trying to make big moves. I have to respect him for his effort.

Besides no one seems to be targeting him despite being annoying, arrogant and a challenge threat. How is Rodney slipping by? He must have a pretty good social game after all. Never saw that coming.

Who is this jackass? (AKA who has no shot to win and why?)

Oh Will, you poor thing. Throughout the entire show you have looked miserable. You were stuck with a bunch of kids on the No Collar tribe and then you were stuck with Max, Shirin AND the same kids of No Collar. And now you go to Blue Collar telling them you are willing to work with them and they put you in a terrible spot by telling you to vote for Hali.

So now you have pissed off your old alliance and you don’t know whether you should trust your new alliance. Meanwhile you aren’t a traditional post-merge target so you will be dealing with this for quite a long time before being dragged to Final Tribal as the third place finisher with no votes.

You are literally only around because people need your vote. Much like Julie was last season. I just hope you enjoy the ride and don’t quit.

Stick to the plan (AKA who is in a good position if they just stick to the plan?)

At this point I have no idea what the plan is. Other than get rid of Joe, everything else is up in the air. But let’s go with Dan.

Dan has always been close to Mike. Mike seems to be the only person who doesn’t have a problem with Dan. Now that Kelly is gone, Dan is securely Mike’s number one guy. And at this point Mike is running the show. So Dan, as long as you can, “keep your mouth shut, your ears open and watch what happens” you should be dragged pretty far into the game.

This is my island (AKA who is running the show)

Just last week I wrote about power couples being dismantled. And again the theme this week was to break up a power couple. The goal was Hali and Jenn but it was actually Kelly and Mike who were torn apart.

And last week I also mentioned how being an unlikely couple that nobody knows about is the key to success this season. And wouldn’t you know it Carolyn and Tyler appear out of nowhere saying the exact same things I wrote.Hey maybe this ol’ Pegboards guy knows what he is talking about after all.

Anyway, Carolyn and Tyler are in a great position.The Blue Collars and No Collars (plus Shirin) are in a war and these two can dictate where the war goes. They can even flip back and forth every week if they desire. Which I believe is what they will do.

FORGET YOU. GO HOME. GOODBYE (AKA my last words for the fallen Survivor)

Sorry to see you go Kelly. You really kept alive the spirit of past Survivor Kelly’s. Which means you didn’t do much and you will be easily forgotten. I honestly had to keep reminding myself who went out last night. And it sounds like you are not on the Jury. Tough break and I am sorry about your head.

Kevin W.