Roman’s Controversial Reign by Jesse Schaffer

The Royal Rumble has transformed from being one of the most exciting wrestling events of the year to operating as the most perversely entertaining night on the WWE calendar. Instead of serving as a launching pad to help the next big superstar get over, it plays off more like a heated argument between WWE and its passionate fan base, illustrating just how little the two parties see eye-to-eye on the way the show is booked. For the second year in a row, the outcome of one of WWE’s most storied matches was unanimously rejected by the WWE Universe and the main culprit behind that wave of nuclear heat is one Daniel Bryan. Or rather, the absence of Daniel Bryan.

Myself and basically every other wrestling fan in the world could see this coming from a mile away. The hardcore snarks in attendance at the Wells Fargo Center were passionately behind Bryan right from the get-go, serenading him with the loudest pop of the night. When Bryan was discarded from the Rumble like any other guy, the enthusiasm in that building deflated more quickly than a New England Patriots football. From that moment on, Roman Reigns had no chance. Philly was furious at this development and they were going to ensure that Vince McMahon, Triple H and everyone else in WWE knew about it. The message from WWE was clear – Daniel Bryan will never be “the guy” no matter how much you cheer for him.

And the answer from the audience was resounding: FUCK. THAT. SHIT.

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Pegboard 3:16 Says It’s Time to Rumble by Jesse Schaffer

When I was a kid, my parents would take me to Blockbuster or another video rental store now and then so I could check out a new game or a movie. That’s right people, a VIDEO RENTAL store. We are going way back in the vault on this one. This was also about the time when I first started watching wrestling, and every one of those stores had a pretty vast collection of WWE pay-per-views on VHS. Yikes, we better get this thing going before I really start to feel old.

One of the first tapes I rented back then was the 1991 Royal Rumble. The Royal Rumble is a giant battle-royal featuring 30 WWE superstars. Starting with just two wrestlers in the ring at the beginning, another man (or sometimes a woman, yay diversity!) enters the match every couple of minutes until all 30 participants have come out. An elimination occurs when a superstar is thrown over the top rope and on to the floor, and the Rumble doesn’t end until all but one of the participants have been tossed out. Oh, and the winner gets a WWE Title match at Wrestlemania. I was mesmerized by this concept and it wasn’t long before I begged my mom to make a return trip to the video store so I could check out the 1992 Rumble. And the 1993 one. And 1994. Yeah, I was addicted.

Now that we are on the cusp of the 2015 Royal Rumble, I thought it would be a good idea to channel that addiction I’ve had since my childhood and turn it into something positive for Pegboards. I’m going to take 10 confirmed and possible Rumble participants and tell you why they may or may not be this year’s winner. This won’t include some of the more recognizable ones, as I’m sick of merely looking at Big Show and Kane, much less trying to write about them, and this isn’t necessarily ranked in order of least likely to win to most likely. Instead, I focused more on who I believe will be making the biggest impact tonight, which is another way of saying I’m trying to predict how the occasionally inept WWE will book it’s second biggest event of the year. Which probably means half of these guys won’t even be there. Fun all around!

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WWE: Tables, Ladders, Chairs, and… Boy, Did That Suck by Jesse Schaffer

My god, where do I even begin?

The last time I wrote about wrestling, Bray Wyatt had just screwed Dean Ambrose in his match against Seth Rollins at the Hell in a Cell pay-per-view. While many were not thrilled with the finish, I suggested that putting Wyatt and Ambrose together could wind up being best for both of them: Wyatt would get a chance to reemerge as a top heel and Ambrose could continue his ascension as the no. 2 babyface behind John Cena. Despite having just an okay match at Survivor Series and a lukewarm build towards the rematch at TLC, when WWE decided to put these two in the main event (over the much more hyped Cena vs. Rollins Tables Match) I thought that we might finally see my prediction come to fruition.  I was desperately hoping for something special.

Instead, WWE shat all over an otherwise solid TLC match with one of the worst finishes in recent memory. Ambrose wasn’t done in by a vicious and calculating Wyatt, but rather a malfunctioning piece of equipment. When Ambrose went to hit Wyatt with a camera, he forgot to unplug it first, it exploded in his face and Wyatt capitalized for the victory. What was that noise, you ask? It’s the sound of about 3 million wrestling fans farting in unison.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

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Hell in a Cell Fallout by Jesse Schaffer

Last night’s Hell in a Cell pay-per-view was supposed to feature the culmination of the bitter feud between Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins, and when WWE allowed them to main event the program over John Cena and Randy Orton, the reaction from the fans was one of relief and pure joy. Not only were the more deserving superstars going on last, but finally Ambrose would exact his revenge against Rollins and go over clean in the biggest win of his career. And that certainly seemed to be where the bout was heading, only WWE and Bray Wyatt had other ideas. Just as Ambrose was set to deliver the final blow, the lights went out and lo and behold, along came a spider in the form of Wyatt to ruin Ambrose’s big night. Rollins stole another victory and just when we thought we were going to get some answers, WWE changes the questions.

That’s the second pay-per-view in a row where the main event has been tainted by outside interference, and this time it seems we have a bit of a mixed reaction. I wasn’t just being dramatic when I said that people wanted to see Ambrose beat Rollins fair and square. After all, Ambrose has yet to score a big win during this feud and the Hell in a Cell match seemed like his best chance to finally go over. It didn’t go down that way and some people aren’t very happy about it. While I certainly want to see Ambrose defeat Rollins once and for all, I think last night’s finish is a good thing for all involved. Here’s why.

First of all, let me be quick to point out that I thought the main event was outstanding. In an era where Hell in a Cell matches aren’t the bloody massacres that they used to be thanks to WWE’s PG rating, you have to get creative to make them feel special. Earlier in the night, Cena and Orton went out and had the same match they’ve had a million times, doing little to capitalize on the fact that this was the first time they’ve squared off in the cell. Ambrose and Rollins did about everything they could to make their bout memorable, including starting their match on top of the cell and careening off the side of it through the announce tables in the most badass spot of the night. Oh, and there was no shortage of steel chair shots and and tables once they finally made it inside, with Ambrose at one point elbow dropping Rollings through a table between the ring and the cell. It all felt very raw and visceral and it certainly stands out from everything else they’ve done.

This is a huge boost for Dean Ambrose, who fully delivered as the valiant hero and as the Lunatic Fringe that he so enjoyably portrays. The crowd so desperately wanted him to emerge victorious and when that was snatched away from him by Wyatt, I think it garnered him even more support. Moving forward, he isn’t only the no. 2 guy in the company, but is now a proven hand when asked to deliver in the spotlight. Even when Roman Reigns returns, it’s hard to imagine the crowd suddenly favoring him over his former Shield compatriot, and that could once again force WWE to improvise on the fly come Wrestlemania season. Can you imagine how epic it would be if Ambrose was somehow able to dethrone Brock Lesnar for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship at Wrestlemania, only to have Rollins cash in on him and steal the title? That would be a hell of way to reignite a feud which still hasn’t seen a definitive ending. I’m giddy just thinking about it.

Shifting my attention to the feud with Wyatt, Ambrose gets a break from Rollins and can enter a fresh program with an adversary that he already has some history with. The showdowns between The Shield and the Wyatt Family earlier in the year were awesome and this is something that’s worked for WWE before. Triple H and The Rock had a lot of chemistry together when DX took on The Nation, but it was their bouts after they left those groups when everything really came together. Some will argue that the heat Wyatt earned from the fans last night was directed more at WWE Creative than the character itself, but I think regardless it gave us a reason to be legitimately pissed off at Wyatt again. He sorely needed that after he was buried by Cena last month, and with the WWE Champion not appearing every week, there is plenty of room for Wyatt to become the monster heel that we all know he can be. If nothing else, the promos and segments between Ambrose and Wyatt will be innovative and captivating as all hell, and that will help solidify this as the most intriguing feud in the company for the foreseeable future.

As for Mr. Money in the Bank himself, Rollins scored another win thanks to help from others, which secures his role as the WWE’s resident slimy heel. My personal preference would be for Randy Orton to turn on the Authority and specifically target Rollins out of spite, and it certainly seems they could be heading that way after Rollins curbstomped the Viper to end Raw last week. However, with Cena not having much to do until Brock Lesnar comes back and Reigns likely returning himself sooner rather than later, those are two other options that would make at least some sense storyline-wise but ultimately would be far less satisfying. Just like Ambrose, Rollins proved that he can be a legitimate main-eventer last night and that should keep him near  the top of the card going forward. But seriously, please let it be him cashing in on Ambrose and not on Reigns next spring.

WWE doesn’t have the greatest track record for delivering satisfying payoffs for their top feuds and storylines, and I think that’s where part of the fan angst over how Hell in a Cell ended is coming from. They’ve screwed shit like this up before and could very well screw it up again. Personally, I’m taking the glass half-full approach and to me an Ambrose/Wyatt program will be more beneficial than hurtful for both of their careers. I think Rollins should do fine in feuding with one of those other guys and as long as WWE Creative can get the fuck out of it’s own way and just let Ambrose and Wyatt do their thing, there should be no problems. I know that’s probably a lot to ask, but hey, when you’re a fan of the Lunatic Fringe, anything is possible.