Ranking a Decade of Marvel Movies: The Also Rans

We did it people. By giving Marvel our hard earned cash to see almost 20 movies over the last decade, featuring all the superheroes that we love and several that we had no clue existed, we aided and abetted the creation of an unstoppable juggernaut. With Avengers: Infinity War being released in a few short days after a decade of building towards Thanos’ showdown with the galaxy’s mightiest heroes, that train is not slowing down anytime soon.

But it hasn’t all been the smoothest journey through this shared universe. There are more than a few stops along the way that, if not for having the Marvel Studios banner safeguarding them from irrelevance, would’ve been immediately cast out and forgotten. I suppose that’s understandable. When you have 18 at-bats, you’re probably not going to knock it out of the park each time. Part three of this post will feature the eight Marvel films that I consider to be home runs, so by baseball standards the MCU has been more than cleaning up at the plate.

However, we still have to talk about the times when they struck out, grounded into a double play or popped out to the catcher (which as a former little leaguer, I always hated more than striking out). To be clear, I’m not referring to this first group of films as “The Also Rans” because I think they suck. While there will be a couple of rants and plenty of criticism, you can still watch most of these movies and be entertained. I just never feel a strong desire to do so outside of taking on another marathon of all the MCU films (which is getting very long, by the way) and one of them just happens to be the next one on the list.

But since these are my opinions and I may very well just be a cynical bastard, I’m including some feedback from both Kevin and my girlfriend, Natalie. If I’m being too hard on any of these films, they’ll let you know about it.

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Thor is Back, Hardly Dark but Mostly Fun by Jesse Schaffer

Yep, for the first time, Kevin and I are both reviewing a certain movie. Yeah sure, it’s a little redundant, big whoop, wanna fight about it?

“Thor: The Dark World” marks the return of everyone’s favorite hammer-wielding Asgardian, and I think it’s safe to say that Thor is back in a big way in this film. Some time after the end of “The Avengers,” our title character is attempting to restore peace to the Nine Realms, while Jane Foster stumbles upon the Aether, an ancient evil that the Dark Elves used to try and control the universe a really, really long time ago. The God of Thunder becomes concerned and takes Jane to Asgard, where she sticks out like a sore thumb, punches Loki in the face and puts everyone in grave danger, forcing the estranged brothers to work together to save their home. Quite thrilling, right?

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Thor is a Bore

Thor: The Dark World opens up with information overload.

We learn that thousands of years ago a weapon called the Aether was used by beings known as Dark Elves to send the universe into darkness. The Asgardians stop them and the Aether ends up being hidden not to be discovered for thousands of years. Meanwhile Thor has been fighting for peace in the Nine Realms while his lover Jane is stuck dating Roy.

This amount of exposition is pretty exhausting and sets the stage for the downfall of the film.

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