Come on in guys for my Survivor Millennials vs Gen X Episode 2 review where I use classic Survivor quotes to assess the latest episode.

Wow, what an episode of Survivor that was. I almost watched it twice but then my sick wife glared at me and I decided once was enough…for now.

We have a lot to digest this week so keep eating your sugar cane and take a jump with me. Spoilers below.

I can get loud too! WHAT THE F***? (AKA funniest quotes/moments of the week)

So much humor in this episode. Instead of rambling on and on about the funny one liners I’ll just let the funniest moment of the week speak for itself.

 

Oh my god these guys are so dumb! (AKA this episode’s worst decision)

It’s hard to call this decision a bad one because we don’t truly know all of the social dynamics going on at camp. We only get a brief glimpse into hours and hours of footage. But after Zeke, Adam and Mari put together a plan to get rid of flirty Figgy, Zeke ran straight to Figgy’s ally Jay and filled him in. Eventually Jay went to Michelle who used this information to her advantage and eventually got Mari out of the game.

I’m assuming Zeke and Jay had a tight bond. And I’m guessing Zeke didn’t want Jay to feel betrayed. In fact, Jay seemed to be on board with the plan until Michelle talked some sense into him. I understand what Zeke was thinking but in the end it was the wrong move.

I’ve been bamboozled! (AKA what surprised me this episode)

This episode was full of surprises. Some of my favorites:

• David and Ken teaming up to be 2016’s Fishbach and JT.
• Gen X triumphing over the Millennials in a tough challenge.
• Two Survivors actually making out despite stinky breath and sand in their drawers.
• Michelle’s strategic dominance (more on this later)

Who is this jackass? (AKA who has no shot to win and why?)

I’ve thought long and hard about this. I see many contestants who have no shot to win. But there is one contestant that I haven’t seen that has not shot to win. Wait, what does that mean? Well there’s a rumor going around the Survivor world that this season actually started with 20 players and not 19 like we have seen on our screen. I know this sounds crazy but I managed to get a glimpse of the mysterious 20th contestant. Here take a look at her pre game photo.

Yup everybody, that is a contestant on this season of Survivor. I swear. She has yet to speak through two episodes but I promise she is there. I managed to snap a screenshot from last night’s episode. This is not photo shopped.

See there’s proof! This screenshot took place during Paul’s near heart attack. The current rumor is that Paul almost went into cardiac arrest when he discovered this mysterious 20th contestant for the first time.

Also here is a list of people who have had more screen time than Lucy this season:

• Random girl producer who told everyone to give Paul space during his heart scare.
• Random boy producer who checked Paul’s pulse.
• Dr. Joe.
• The Cyclone.
• The driver of the boat that brought the Survivors to safety during the cyclone.
• The octopus that Ken killed.

Pretty safe to say that Lucy has no shot at winning this game. In fact, wee still aren’t sure she is even playing the game.

Stick to the plan (AKA who is in a good position if they just stick to the plan?)

Well shit, the cool kids actually can play this game. After going through a week of podcasters, bloggers and redditors making fun of the Triforce’s inability to do simple math, they managed to prove everyone wrong. Okay maybe not Figgy and Taylor. I legit think they are only here to hookup.

But Michelle and Jay. Damn that was some good strategic and social play those two had. Especially Michelle. She managed to take some valuable information (Zeke’s alliance targeting Figgy and Michaela) and used it to secure her core four and to scare Michaela into an alliance. Next she used logic and timing to convince the strategically minded Will into flipping. And to top it off she shoved Hannah into a locker and forced her to vote with her. She used her whole arsenal and she came away with a 7-3 vote that took out one of the most promising players (and a lot of people’s winner pick) in the game. And she severely handicapped Adam and Zeke who are two well known hardcore Survivor fans that know how to play this game.

Not so bad for a dragon-believing, bible-selling, popular kid who everybody overlooked.

You better relax bro! (AKA who needs to relax…bro)

Last week I had to talk David off the crazy cliff. This week we are going to breakdown Paul’s need for control. This section might as well be Survivor Therapy.

The beginning of the episode focused on the Gen X’ers. Mostly on David and Ken putting together a plan to cut off the head of the main alliance. The head happens to be Paul, the gray bearded, heavy metal loving Santa Clause type. Go back and watch the scenes of David and Ken to get a sense of why I love this show. The editors manage to build their characters (David triumphing over his neurosis, making a bond with Ken who has struggled with his own anxieties in the past to take control over the game from the ego-maniac Paul who has control issues) while weaving a fascinating story.

The editors use their footage and confessionals so well here. David speaks about himself and Ken being physical opposites and without missing a beat the editors drop this image:

Then Ken is telling Cece they need to overwhelm Paul to take him out, meanwhile during this conversation the editors are cutting to Paul struggling to get up because he is overwhelmed by the heat/elements/game/dehydration. Just great editing that gives us a glimpse into these real people and their own personal flaws and difficulties.

Anyway, I got side tracked, my point here is that Paul admits he needs to have control. This seems to culminate with Paul going down probably due to stress. Maybe this scare will teach him to relax his need for control. Maybe he will realize control makes him too big of a target for him in Survivor and in life. Maybe that near heart attack brought him back to life and gave him new perspective and he will go all the way to the end.

Or maybe Ken and David will succeed with their plan to overthrow him before he learns that lesson. Either way Paul, your body and your tribemates are telling you that you need to relax bro.

FORGET YOU. GO HOME. GOODBYE (AKA my last words for the fallen Survivor)

Dammit. I was really excited for Mari in this game. I thought she had it all and I almost made her my winner pick. It’s hard to know what went wrong for her. Either the tribe saw her as too big of a threat or she didn’t make good enough bonds with the non Triforce tribemates. Sorry Mari, hope you get a second chance in the near future.