Walking Dead Rankings Season 4 Episode 16

Welcome to our Walking Dead Power Rankings.  Jesse has 80 points while Kevin has 86.

(Note: Each week Jesse and I will rank the Walking Dead characters from least likely to die to most likely to die. If a character does perish then we earn points. For instance if Glenn dies this week then Jesse will have 7 points and I will have 5 points.)

Oh, and fyi, it’s been one year since Kevin and I started Pegboard. Thanks for sticking with us through our periods of inactivity. The best is yet to come!

Kevin’s Rankings

  1. Daryl- He has fully integrated himself into his new group. The head honcho felt comfortable enough with him that he allowed another one of his men to die. What is it about Daryl that makes everybody love him? Even assholes living in the zombie apocalypse connect with him. I feel like everybody on this list would sacrifice themselves for Daryl. Also, couldn’t his new group say, “dibs” instead of “claimed”. Claimed is not as much fun to say in my opinion.

  2. Judith- At what point do you think Judith is going to crawl off on her own? I mean she has witnessed several adults take on a parenting role and all of them have failed pretty spectacularly at some point. Eventually she will say, “enough of this shit, I am taking my blankie and I am doing this on my own.” It really is her best shot at survival.

  3. Carl- Don’t be alarmed Carl. Your father finally smiled! He isn’t sick or anything. It is perfectly normal. Don’t make a big deal out of it. Just keep eating your candy bar and move along.

  4. Maggie- Making your man burn his only picture of you? Not cool Maggie. The only reason he went looking for you was because of that picture. Show a little gratitude towards that picture. And how long will it take before cameras are operational again? Don’t you think it would be nice to have a picture of yourself for your kids when you inevitably die because no family can be whole in the zombie apocalypse?

  5. Glenn- Alright I am no gun expert but hunching into a ball when eight people are shooting in your direction is as useful as hiding under a desk during a nuclear bomb drop. None of those bullets ricocheted? You keep that up Glenn and you will be dropping down my list.

  6. Rick- RICK GRIMES SMILED! RICHARD GRIMES SMILED! RICHARD TIMOTHY GRIMES SMILED! I don’t know if that is his middle name. Doesn’t matter. He smiled!

  7. Michonne- Lost had Charlie. Breaking Bad had Saul. Every show needs a comedian to lighten the mood during the dark days. I guess Michonne fills that role for The Walking Dead? Here’s a tough question, what is funnier: Michonne’s jokes or the joke of the Michonne character?

  8. Abraham- Look at this. A leader who makes practical and tough decisions that doesn’t leave multiple people dead at his expense. Abe should run a ‘How To’ course in being a leader during the zombie apocalypse. And Rick should sign up immediately. He could even teach Rick how to smile more often…

  9. Carol- Hey Carol is right back where she started! She is stuck with a man that doesn’t love her and a little girl that will probably die soon. Full circle people, full circle.

  10. Tyreese- This bust of a draft pick needs to get cut and find a fresh start somewhere else. Maybe a new group altogether. Rick could come out with a statement that says, “We appreciate all of the work Tyreese has done for us through the years. He is a true competitor and I know he will succeed elsewhere. At the end of the day it is a business and we have to do what is right for the team.” And then Tyreese can act grateful and calm while slowly leaking some shots at Rick’s leadership ability.

  11. Eugene- Ok so maybe Eugene is the comedic relief? I would be happy but how am I supposed to make fun of a guy who would make fun of himself if he had a blog? Seriously just imagine Eugene reviewing the Walking Dead. He would probably be a lot funnier and more insightful. I hate that guy.

  12. Beth- Oh Luna Lovegood where are you? And how fast did Daryl forget about you? Hey one night of dinner and heavy drinking doesn’t mean he will call you in the morning. Every young girl needs to learn that lesson.

  13. Rosita- So Rosita’s entire existence so far has been to be ogled at. By the men she is with, by the woman she is with, by the audience. That is it. Way to go writers. Welcome to 2014. You probably should go watch Frozen if you want to see how to write well-established, multi-dimensional woman characters.

  14. Bob- Things are looking up for Bob. He found a good woman, his third wheel is reunited with her man and he seems to have found paradise. Unfortunately things are about to get bad for him. Real bad. Terminus isn’t as wonderful as it sounds. They have a dark secret. They have already finished the alcohol stash. Noooooo!

  15. Tara- You lived! That exclamation mark is not of excitement. It is purely of shock. Why would you survive that moment of stupidity? That would have been the perfect moment for you to go away. Now you will probably be around for a long time. What other reason would there be for your survival? Ugh.

  16. Sasha- I always forget that Tyreese and Sasha are brother and sister. I don’t blame myself though because Tyreese and Sasha are pretty forgettable.

Jesse’s Rankings

  1. Daryl – For whatever reason, it never even occurred to me that Daryl’s hunting buddies were the same guys who were incapable of finding Rick in that house. Once I got past my momentary brain fart, I actually appreciated this plot development. Instead of just serving as another instance of why I hate Rick, now we are almost certainly headed for a showdown at Terminus and Daryl is going to be in a tough spot when he shows his true colors. Maybe he could “claim” all his friends so that they don’t get killed? Or at least Carol, Judith and Michonne. No one would blame you if that’s as far as you got, Daryl.
  2. Judith – Is Judith the only toddler left in the world? I can’t even remember the last time that another set of people had a kid, let alone a baby girl. You would think that if that were the case, you’d roll out the red carpet for Lil’ Ass Kicker. Give her some freaking toys or something. Instead they dress her up like a mummy and stick her with Tyreese.

  3. Carl – When I was a kid, I was trying to balance on the curb in a parking lot. I slipped and fell elbow first into a parking spot that was covered with grease, and of course I got a nice helping of the stuff into my wound. We couldn’t get it clean at home, so my parents wound up taking me to the hospital, where they had to numb my elbow with a needle (which hurt like hell) and then they literally took a toothbrush so that they could scrub out all the blood and grease. The point of the story is that my mind wanders whenever John Connor is on screen, and that I had horrible balance and luck when I was a kid.

  4. Rick – Seeing as this is the season finale, we have to revisit the old “who will survive” motif. While killing off Rick would definitely shake the foundation of the show (he is a major character, just not a very good one), would people even care at this point? I’d put my money on Rick somehow scraping by once again and returning next season to do nothing and say less.

  5. Michonne – As much as it’s been great to see a different side of Michonne, the whole “buddy-buddy” shtick with Carl is getting old fast. I swear to God, if they start playing cowboys and indians in the next episode I’m going to blow a gasket. Not that there’s anything wrong with cowboys and indians, but I always preferred Power Rangers. I’m a 90’s kid, after all.

  6. Beth – Will we find out what happened to Beth? Does she still pine for Daryl? Is there any hope for these star-crossed lovers? Why am I asking you all of these questions?

  7. Glenn – Congrats Glen, you did it man. You found Maggie and didn’t let Tara drag you down. Well done.
  8. Sasha – Maybe you had it right, Sasha. Terminus just looked way too perfect and untainted to be the safe haven it’s supposed to be. I hope you and Bob did everything you wanted in your fling, because it’s about to be cut short. Keep reading.

  9. Tara – The Walking Dead’s resident lesbian has had one single purpose for the past seven episodes: redeem herself for helping to bring suffering and misery upon Glenn’s friends. She’s going to totally accomplish that or at least die trying, right? Wait, you mean she’s going to completely fail and get pinned under a rock when Glenn needs her the most? A squirrel would’ve been a more reliable companion for Glenn at this point.

  10. Abraham – Damit Abe, how could you be so careless? You took a nap in the back of the most recent car you could find and then you let a woman drive! No wonder you didn’t wind up where you wanted to.

  11. Eugene – Yep, this guy played Halo before everything went to shit. You would think he would at least know how to properly aim a real gun then, but hey, he cares about people. That’s alright in my book.

  12. Maggie – Okay, I was happy to see the reunion of the first couple of the apocalypse, but I’m with Kevin. Are you sure Glenn won’t need a picture of you ever again?

  13. Rosita – Eh. If the worst thing about Rosita is that she only exists for everyone to undress with their eyes, then at least she is hot. And I will never be able to watch her without imaging her and Tara hooking up from now on. Thanks Kevin.

  14. Carol – Would it be smart writing if Carol sacrificed herself to save Tyreese, the character she feels that she wronged more than any other? Or would the suicide rate for fans of this show just go up because we lost one of the only good characters that we have left? I’ll let you decide.

  15. Tyreese – We already had one happy reunion last week, so odds are we aren’t going 2 for 2 this week.

  16. Bob – I’m telling you, Terminus is going to wind up being a terrible place. Good people die in terrible places. Wait, did I just call Bob a good person? I must be exhausted.

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