Author Archives: Jesse Schaffer

Bought It Before I Watched It: Arrival

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Bought It Before I Watched It is a series dedicated to all of the blu-rays that Jesse purchased without seeing the movie first. He then watches said movie and writes a post about whether he wasted his money or not. He also interviews himself and tries not to come off as pretentious or patronizing. Sometimes that’s easier said than done.

What did I buy Arrival?

Aside from being a critically acclaimed film about an alien invasion? That will earn a bought it before I watched it from me pretty much every time. However, in this case I was mainly intrigued because Arrival was helmed by Denis Villeneuve, one of the best filmmakers working today. Certain directors become so accomplished that all I need is to see their name attached to a movie and I’m hooked. Scorsese, Tarantino and Nolan are a few good examples of that.

I believe that Villeneuve belongs in the same company.

What did I think?

I knew going in that Arrival wasn’t your typical “aliens have come to Earth movie,” much to the chagrin of audiences with the predisposition that it would be another Independence Day. An actual criticism of a review I read (after I saw the film, of course) is that, “Arrival is a mystery masquerading as a summer blockbuster.” I feel sorry for anyone who felt that way, because while Arrival definitely weaves a mysterious web around its narrative, it certainly doesn’t lack for drama or tension and doesn’t pretend to be anything that it’s not. This is why I prefer to go into new movies blind, if possible, and just let the story play out as it was supposed to.

In short, I thought it was another excellent showcase of Villeneuve’s talents, and featured a particularly nuanced performance from Amy Adams. Personally, I thought it was refreshing that the hero wasn’t trying to blow all the aliens up, per normal.

Do you regret buying it?

Absolutely not. Villeneuve never lets me down. Every one of his films is different enough to stand out from the others, but the story always remains taut throughout and the visuals leave an indelible impression on me every time. Any new work from him will always be an instant purchase from me.

How often will you come back to it?

I definitely want to see it again. One idea that we’ve kicked around here is to highlight specific actors and directors, watch their most famous and underrated work and then provide you with some analysis on how these films impacted and inspired us, among other things. If we ever pull the trigger on that concept, Villeneuve will definitely be on that list.

Any parting thoughts?

Enemy with Jake Gyllenhaal is another Villeneuve blu-ray that I purchased before I saw it. Considering I still haven’t gotten to it yet, and that I just waxed poetically over how much of a Villeneuve fanboy I am, that’s going to have to be one of the upcoming entries for this series. Stay tuned.

Bought It Before I Watched It: Sorry to Bother You

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Bought It Before I Watched It is a series dedicated to all of the blu-rays that Jesse purchased without seeing the movie first. He then watches said movie and writes a post about whether he wasted his money or not. He also interviews himself and tries not to come off as pretentious or patronizing. Sometimes that’s easier said than done.

Why did I buy Sorry to Bother You?

I did this thing in 2018 where I closely monitored the Tomatometer on Rotten Tomatoes for all new films that were released. If one had a high score, I did some research on it and if I was intrigued by the plot and the talent involved, I made a note to pick it up when it came out on blu-ray. I suppose my logic is that it’s easier for me to support these films that way than going to the theaters, which may not even make any sense.

Sorry to Bother You was one that fell into this category.

What did I think?

That’s a very difficult question to answer. Kevin wrote a banger of a piece when he saw it and I could tell that I was in for something different. There’s just no preparing you for HOW different this one is until you actually witness it for yourself. But Kevin was correct in saying that Sorry to Bother You is a film you can’t shake. Regardless of how you personally feel about the plot and everything that ensues, it bores its way into your brain and remains there for days after. Weeks even.

It likely takes a rewatch or two to try and fully grasp everything. And even then, I don’t know if you can fully comprehend how squarely you get leveled by all the social commentary.

Do you regret buying it?

Not at all. I never kick myself for adding a unique film to my collection. Maybe it’s not quite my cup of tea or maybe I’m a little put off at first, but we need movies like this to keep finding their way onto our screens. I have nothing against more popular films. I adore the MCU. It’s just that for every smash hit like Avengers: Endgame, there are hundreds of new movies that fall completely under the radar and go unnoticed by popular culture. And so many of them have a daring voice and crave to be heard and seen.

How often will you come back to it?

I honestly have no idea. I’m of the belief that films evolve and change for us as we make our way through our lives. Right now, Sorry to Bother You is a weird, well-made piece of art that I admire, but we aren’t exactly going steady yet. Five years from now? I could declare this the most underrated film of the 2010’s. I have no freaking idea.

Any parting thoughts?

If your dream is to one day make films, be part of films or if you just like watching something weird every now and then for the hell of it. you have to check out Sorry to Bother You. I can’t say that you won’t regret it, but I think that’s part of the appeal. It has and will impact people in different ways, and you just won’t know until you give it a shot.

Onward: Another Feather in Pixar’s Cap

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When you think of Pixar, you imagine a crowd pleasing formula: likable heroes, relatable plights and accessible humor for the whole family. You also imagine success. Years and years of success.

And to be fair, most of that is well-deserved. Pixar is the standard bearer of quality animation in film and every time you think they can’t possibly top themselves again, they set the bar just a little bit higher. But with that success also comes the added benefit of a box office safety net. The lesser Pixar entries often perform far better than they should and are typically bulletproof from too much criticism.

Which brings us to Onward. Two elf brothers, Ian and Barley Lightfoot, embark on a magical quest with their deceased father’s legs to complete a spell that will bring his whole body back for one day. If that was weird to read, trust me that it felt weird to type and it all makes for a zany tale of medieval creatures living their lives in the modern world. Tom Holland and Chris Pratt are likable actors who fit their characters like a glove and there lies a certain sort of charm about embracing magic and the fantastical over our convenient technology.

All of this is to say that I rather enjoyed Onward. I’d definitely watch it again and will probably buy it at some point, despite the fact that it is sure to be available on Disney+ the second it ends its run in theaters. I just don’t know that it lives up to the Pixar standard so much as it benefits from being made by Pixar. Maybe I’m not making much sense here, so lets try a comparison.

Kubo and the Two Strings was one of the more groundbreaking animated films I’ve seen in the past five years. It featured a stellar voice cast, LAIKA’s unique style and some neat twists that I didn’t see coming. Yet in two weeks, Onward has already surpassed Kubo’s total earnings at the box office and has a higher audience rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Is there another reason why that’s the case beyond the simple fact that Pixar made one but not the other?

To be fair, this is more of a commentary on how people are more likely to trust their hard earned cash to an established brand than take a risk on something unfamiliar. We recently ran a piece here about going to the movies and why audiences are more inclined to stay at home and catch something on Netflix. Pixar, and really Disney as a whole, is one of the few studios immune to the convenience of streaming. The irony of it all is that I’m the one who wrote this, but yet I didn’t think twice about paying to see Onward in the theater.

I have no idea how well my point came across here. I’m a fan of this movie. I guess I just wish that every film that deserved it received guaranteed success.

(For the record, Onward‘s $45 million opening weekend is considered low for the studio. That’s still almost as much as Kubo earned in total in North America).

Friday Film Roundup

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Our Friday Film Roundup is an attempt to share what we are reading, watching, and listening to as we head into the weekend. We plan on sharing major film news, interesting film essays/videos, and recommended films you might want to check out.

Good morning! You might be a little confused by our title, because it is definitely not Friday. We’re not trying to trick you or anything. Our goal is to bring you more consistent content in the coming weeks and actually have scheduled posts that go out on certain days. You know, like an actual film blog!

But we failed in that respect last week. Sometimes life just kicks you in the nuts and says, “Oh I’m sorry, were you trying to go about your day without any painful interruptions?” Rest assured that we are fine and will continue striving towards a higher level of consistency. That’s why, although it’s Saturday, I wasn’t about to change the title of this post to Weekend Roundup or anything like that.

So join me for a quick journey on the very last day in February. Hallelujah!

Reading:

This is probably cheating, since this section is typically reserved for pieces from other websites, but given the timing I think this is appropriate. I saw an ad for A Quiet Place Part II this morning and it reminded me that I haven’t seen the first one for awhile. Kevin did a quick review for that back when it came out (along with some commentary on MoviePass) and it’s worth your time:

https://flimsyfilmcritics.com/2018/04/08/my-year-with-moviepass-a-quiet-place-review/

It’s wild because that was only a couple of years ago and MoviePass has already pretty much come and gone. Amazing how much can change in the world over a very short period of time.

Watching:

Recommendation: On a recent episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine (not my recommendation but I love that show and if you aren’t watching, what the hell are you waiting for?!), Christopher Nolan’s Memento was used as a running gag. One character hadn’t seen it and another character couldn’t believe it, so it turned into this whole thing.

And it made me think that most people probably know Nolan for his Dark Knight Trilogy and movies like Inception and Dunkirk, but I bet there’s a pretty large crowd out there that isn’t familiar with Memento. So do yourself a favor and check it out if you haven’t. Check it out even if you have seen it and it’s just been awhile. I doubt you’ll regret it.

What I’m Watching: My fiance and I just started binge-watching The Witcher on Netflix. I saw an article or a tweet recently saying that the show gets good after it stops trying to be Game of Thrones. Personally, I don’t know what that person was talking about. The Witcher is as wild and weird as the game was and as I’ve been told the books are (haven’t read them yet, but might do so now), and Henry Cavill is fantastic as Geralt.

I also caught the first two episodes of Better Call Saul’s latest season and as always was very impressed. I promise to watch some more movies to recommend here soon since this is technically a film blog.

Upcoming Flimsy Film Posts:

Welcome to New York: While We’re Young

Kevin’s cranking this one out and will have it to you guys next week. Tuesday maybe?

Bought It Before I Watched It: Sorry to Bother You

I picked this one up awhile ago and have yet to pop it in my blu-ray player. I’m sure once I do over the next week, I’ll kick myself for waiting so long… I hope.

Let’s Talk About: The Rise of Skywalker

This bad boy is still in the works as well. I can’t say I’m looking forward to it because of how much this one disappointed me, but it has to be done. And we’ll get it done.

Hotel Transylvania: Bought It Before I Watched It

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Sometimes you have to let go of a predisposition and give something a chance. This isn’t exclusive to film by any means, but given our tendency to hold certain actors or directors in a purely negative light, I’d say it’s a pretty common thing for those of us who love movies. One of my predispositions is to actively avoid most Adam Sandler films since the early 2000’s.

This is easier said than done. Sandler has remained very much in the spotlight over the past two decades, despite starring in numerous releases that were critically panned and universally rejected. You Don’t Mess with the Zohan, Grown Ups, Jack & Jill, Grown Ups 2 and Pixels are just a few of his misfires. That didn’t stop Netflix from handing him a multi-million dollar deal in 2014 to make exclusive content for the streaming juggernaut, which was extended in 2017. Either there’s still a market for his outdated comedy or Sandler has blackmail on every top executive in Hollywood. Maybe both.

And while there is plenty of evidence that his best days are behind him and that our time and money are best spent elsewhere, I couldn’t help but be intrigued by the Hotel Transylvania franchise. I love animation and thought the premise was fun: some of the world’s most infamous movie monsters shack up together at Dracula’s manor turned hotel, mainly because they need to avoid humans to survive. It’s also not unprecedented for certain actors to be better suited for voice acting over live-action, so I figured what the hell? I paid the five dollars to buy Hotel Transylvania on blu-ray, fully prepared to be disappointed but hopeful that Sandler might still have a couple of tricks up his sleeve.

To my genuine surprise, I actually liked the movie. Now it’s certainly not without its faults. Sandler’s trademark toilet humor still rears its ugly head, despite the fact that it should’ve been left back in the 90’s. He also brings his usual cohorts along for the ride, and while I enjoy actors like Steve Buscemi and David Spade as much as the next guy, it’s hard for anything that Sandler does to feel fresh when he works with the same people over and over. I guess that Seth Rogen and James Franco are equally guilty of this type of nepotism, so I suppose I can’t trash Sandler too much for that. Thankfully, he restrains himself just enough here to allow this fundamentally entertaining story to shine through.

It’s also boosted by the presence of Genndy Tartakovsky. Having the Samurai Jack creator at the helm of your animated project is always a good thing, and of course he is his usual reliable self. Throw in some young(er) talent like Andy Samberg and Selena Gomez, and you have all the ingredients for a perfectly watchable family-friendly movie. That’s more or less what you get here, but audiences ate it up in droves. There have already been two sequels and there are plans for a fourth installment in the franchise. Is there any actor better than Sandler at securing his next payday? I’ll give him that much.

Suffice to say, I didn’t experience anything revolutionary with Hotel Transylvania. I also laughed a fair amount and didn’t feel like clawing my eyes out at any point. That’s a win for any movie not trying to take itself too seriously, especially a Sandler one. There’s also a brilliant joke at Twilight’s expense, which alone was worth spending the five dollars.

It’s the small things in life that you treasure.

The Shallows: Bought It Before I Watched It

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Here is a well-known, irrefutable fact about myself: I am old.

Now you might be thinking, “But Jesse, you’re only 29! You’re still a young man,” and that’s exactly what you would think given my age and appearance, but that’s without taking the following into account: I listen to a ton of classic rock, I still pay for cable, I try to avoid long lines and crowds, I’m just as content with a quiet night inside as I am going out and doing something fun, and I still buy physical copies of movies.

That’s right, every single movie I own is perched upon a bookshelf in my guest room. Whenever I have to move (which thankfully isn’t very often), I have to take them down, pack them up and put them all back up again when I get to my new place. That probably sounds awful to you, which is why most people who still collect movies (instead of just streaming everything) opt for digital copies, so they don’t have to deal with all of the clutter. Marie Kondo would definitely prefer the latter approach.

And I wish I could tell you that I have a bulletproof reason for buying and storing all of these optical discs, like that they provide me with superior audio and video quality (which is somewhat true) or that I don’t like relying on the internet to have access to good movies (for the two times a year that my internet doesn’t work), but maybe it just brings me to joy to see all those plastic cases twinkling at me from their respective positions on my shelf.

If you think that sounds crazy, then this little nugget will really blow your mind: I will sometimes buy movies that I haven’t even SEEN yet. Now in my defense, I do look at the reviews for a film to determine how well it was received and if it might be unique, but that’s still weird, right? Why pay money to own something that I’m not even sure I’ll enjoy?

I won’t even attempt to come up with a good answer for that question, but what I am going to attempt to do is start a series of posts where I watch a movie that I bought without seeing it first, and then write about whether I regret it or not. I’ll even do a mock interview of myself. We’ll see if I regret that.

First up, The Shallows.

Why did I buy The Shallows?

You can count the number of good shark movies on one hand, or maybe even one finger. On a side note, I bet you thought my answer was going to be, “Blake Lively in a bikini.” Get your mind out of the gutter, pervs.

Really, people are expected to believe that?

Hey, I love Jaws. It’s one of the greatest feats in film history and the piece of cinema that put Steven Spielberg on the map. I loathe virtually every other shark movie I’ve seen, although I do respect the Sharknado franchise for fully embracing its own ridiculousness and just running with it (they released a sixth one just last year!). The point is, I wanted to believe that The Shallows brought the survival horror element of Jaws without the stupidity of all its sequels, so I took the plunge… erm, the dive.

Alright alright, so what did you think?

Much to my relief, The Shallows is a perfectly watchable summertime horror flick. Lively makes for a compelling lead, as she’s proven in some of her more recent work, and the great white shark is a force of nature that lays waste to anyone stupid enough to be in the water (basically everyone). I don’t think a bigger boat would’ve helped Lively in this one, or a bigger surfboard for that matter (unless the Silver Surfer let her borrow his and she could just fly out of there). Director Jaume Collet-Serra tried his hand at horror previously, including the graphic 2005 remake of House of Wax, but he seems to have tightened the reigns a little bit here by favoring suspense over gore. The mere threat of the shark is equally as imposing as when it’s actually chowing down on something, which I found rather effective.

He also found a pretty clever way to visualize Lively’s smartphone on the screen, which is something we’re seeing more and more of in film with things like texting and Facetime.

Do you think you’ll come back to it again?

I’m sure I will someday, but it was brutal to watch by myself (my fault for putting on a scary movie while I was home alone). My fiance also hates survival horror, so the chances of getting her to sit through it someday are between slim to none. Maybe I can convince Kevin to fly back from New York for it? You never know.

Moment of truth… do you regret purchasing it?

Thankfully, no. While it’s certainly not on the level of Jaws, all I wanted was something to shock me, awe me and make me scared to get in the water. You can check all three boxes for The Shallows. On top of that, there is a seagull in this movie named Steven Seagull. How could I ever regret buying a film that features a bird named after a 90’s action star?

What’s next in this series?

Good question. Kevin has been badgering me to watch Enemy and Sorry to Bother You, so probably one of those two. Stay tuned!

It’s a Long Shot to Go to the Movies

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I’m going to let you guys in on a little secret – Flimsy Film Critics is all for romantic comedies!

I know, I know. We don’t write about them much (except when I’m critiquing Netflix’s autoplay feature) but it’s true. We like to see the hero wind up with the object of their desire, we find humor in the critiques of modern dating and we find satisfaction in people growing as individuals and ditching their lousy significant other for someone much better. Mainly, I think we are just relieved that we no longer have to endure all the awkward moments that being single can bring cascading into your life.

That’s why when I saw the trailer for Long Shot, I was instantly intrigued. Seth Rogen and Charlize Theron are both actors that I admire, but they’re an unusual on-screen couple. I figured that was a good sign that a little more thought went into making this film other than, “Get two attractive people together and let the sparks fly,” especially since Rogen also served as a producer. My fiance was equally intrigued, so seeing Long Shot in theaters seemed like a great potential date night and an opportunity to support an original movie.

Then we didn’t go. But we did order it on-demand because I’m old and still pay for cable. That still counts, right?

Alright, so it’s not the same. I always kick myself for not forking over the $20 that it takes to go see a film that deserves our money, because these movie studios are always listening with their wallets. That’s why we have all those Fast and Furious movies and just got Angel Has Fallen, the third installment of a trilogy that most people have forgotten even exists. Long Shot barely made its budget back, which only compounded my guilt. We as a society always complain that we don’t get enough original films, but then we rarely put our money where our mouths are when we have the chance. Why is that?

I think a lot of it has to do with the impact that streaming has had on the industry. If people see a trailer for a movie that captures their interest but isn’t  something they have been eagerly anticipating, what are the odds that they just wait it out and catch it on Netflix or Hulu someday? Exponentially high, and only increasing with the additional streaming services that have been starting up (just wait until Disney+ is released, families will never leave their homes again!). For people who aren’t passionate about film or just watch movies to pass the time, they are probably ecstatic about this trend. They get to sit on their couch and save money on something they aren’t even sure they’ll like. But for cinephiles like the two goofy guys who run this blog, it’s an upsetting development in our film loving worlds. Try as you might, you just can’t replicate the experience of going to the theater with the streaming device at your home, and you never will.

And of course I liked Long Shot. It was a fun and refreshing rom com, which is all the more reason why I should’ve gotten off my butt and traveled the 10 minutes to see it on the big screen. Imagine a world where public movie theaters don’t even exist and everything is released right to your Smart TV or Roku Stick.

It’s a lot closer than you might think.

Wes Anderson’s Criterion Journey: The Royal Tenenbaums

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There is a scene in The Royal Tenenbaums that always mesmorizes me. No matter how many times I see it, no matter what else I’m doing, I instantly get swept up in its beauty and simplicity and come to admire it even more than before.

Margot and Richie have been in love for a long time, dating all the way back to their childhood. Summoned back home after a prolonged absence, they arrange to meet at, “the pier by way of the Green Line Bus.” As Margot steps off of the bus, and spots Richie awaiting her arrival, their eyes lock and their expressions soften and not a word is needed to understand how these two truly feel about each other. They are wearing nearly identical colors, casting off a dreamlike hue as if they are the only people in each other’s worlds that stand out. Nico’s cover of Jackson Browne’s “These Days” plays over the scene, suggesting that these two never really got to be together and that their love as a whole was a missed opportunity.

Of course, none of this takes into account that Richie is Margot’s brother and Margot is his adopted sister. It wouldn’t truly be a Wes Anderson movie if there wasn’t one absurd little tidbit that threw the entire idea of this potential courtship out of whack. Richie later discusses his love for Margot with his father, Royal (played by the legendary Gene Hackman) and the following exchange takes place:

Royal: “It’s illegal though, right?”
Richie: “I don’t think so, we’re not blood related.”
Royal: “But probably frowned upon. But then again, what isn’t these days?”

That line made me wonder about what the reaction would have been if The Royal Tenenbaums had been released these days. Would there have been a giant backlash towards the Margot/Richie relationship on the internet or would they have been in the clear thanks to Game of Thrones’ portrayal of full-fledged incest? It’s safest to assume that people will get offended about anything that is even the slightest bit controversial. But as I rewatched the film recently, I realized two things: 1) I’m glad that certain movies were made before the advent of social media and 2) I really miss seeing Gene Hackman in new movies.

Probably a lot more than the other people in this movie missed his character.

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Auto-Play Will Always Be a Maybe

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One of the most annoying features on Netflix is how it auto-plays trailers for movies and shows as you are scrolling through its vast library of content. On the surface, this doesn’t sound like that big of a deal. Auto-playing a trailer for something that I’m not sure I even want to watch sounds like a classic first-world problem, and oftentimes you can simply move on and completely forget about that new Adam Sandler movie. I’ve been doing that for years anyway.

No, what really bothers me about auto-play has more to do with the nature of trailers these days. There have been too many instances recently where I will watch a teaser and come away feeling like I just saw the whole movie. In a digital world where spoilers are waiting for us at every turn, it’s downright disheartening that movie studios willingly give away plot details like free tickets to a WWE pay-per-view. It’s gotten so bad that rarely do I ever watch more than a single trailer for a film that I want to see, and even then I hesitate before I hit the play button. Netflix’s auto-play function makes it that much harder to sidestep those previews, and as a result, all the more difficult to go into a new movie completely blind.

Lovers of film know this plight all too well, which is why after my fiance and I finished watching a movie on Netflix, and then it immediately jumped into the trailer for Always Be My Maybe, I was certain that I knew all the ins and outs of this “new” romantic comedy: childhood friends Sasha and Marcus hit adulthood and have an awkward sexual encounter, contact between them is severed, they randomly encounter each others years later and feelings are rekindled, but then Keanu Reeves (playing himself) emerges as a romantic rival for Marcus, creating a huge obstacle to win Sasha’s heart (seriously, that is all in the trailer). To be fair, romantic comedies all more or less hit the same beats (minus Keanu playing a sardonic version of himself), but if you feel like you know the outcome before you even start the movie, then it just feels like a waste of time.

Regardless, we both found ourselves home sick one day and decided to give Always Be My Maybe a chance. The upside to rolling the dice on a Netflix film is you can always stop watching 20 minutes in if you don’t like it, and my fiance is a fan of Ali Wong’s standup, so we figured why the hell not? Much to my surprise, this latest romcom had more depth than I was expecting and featured great chemistry between Wong and co-star Randall Park. There were also (gasp!) many key scenes and developments that were NOT highlighted in the trailer. Had I not been feeling so rotten that day, I would’ve done a victory dance in my living room in celebration of a trailer that actually did its job: provide the audience with an idea of what to expect and pique our interest so that we’ll actually tune in.

Thank you Always Be My Maybe. You were not only a refreshingly fun and poignant romantic comedy, but you also didn’t ruin any of that for me beforehand. If only all of the other trailers would follow suit (or, ya know, Netflix could do away with its intrusive auto-play). Neither of these seem likely, so continue to tread lightly when it comes to previews, friends.

There be monsters out there.

Have You Ever Taken the 3:10 to Yuma?

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I spent last Christmas in Arizona with my fiance and her family. On Christmas Eve, her parents suggested that we venture down to Tombstone because I had never been there before and they knew that I was a fan of that Western. Pretty good family to marry into, right?

On the way, we passed the turnoff to Bisbee and I excitedly pointed out, “Bisbee?! That’s the first town they went to in 3:10 to Yuma!” My fiance laughed, rolled her eyes a little and said, “I love how you know where places are solely because of movies you watch.” She’s not wrong, but it’s simply the catch that comes with being engaged to a film lover. To her credit, she always takes it in stride and even sits through movies that I want to review and that she could care less about because she wants to be supportive. That’s true love folks, and another example of how lucky I am and that I made the right decision by proposing.

But while I could talk about my wonderful fiance from dawn til dusk, the point is that I will forever associate Bisbee with 3:10 to Yuma, the 2007 remake of the 1957 film of the same name. And when I’m reminded of that movie, I instantly recall the clever direction, expert pacing and superb acting. I then find myself yearning to experience it all over again, and that’s the mark of a tremendous motion picture: one that you can revisit repeatedly without tiring of it or being able to spot any flaws.

I’ve certainly never been able to find any, friends, and that’s why I declare that 3:10 to Yuma is a perfect film and one of the finest Westerns ever made.

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