Wanna know the hardest part about running a blog for free? Trying to squeeze in time for writing in between the rest of your life. We aren’t always that good at that, but hey, here are the rankings for week 5. Better late than never.
Our rankings are after the jump. You didn’t think we were THAT lazy, did you?
The general consensus is that our rankings making fun of ESPN’s NFL Power Rankings last week were good. By good, I mean that no one told us that it sucked or reminded us not to quit our day jobs. That gave us enough confidence to bring this post back for another week, and I guess we’ll see how long you guys will put up with our ramblings before you get sick of them. As a point of reference, here is a link to ESPN’s actual rankings…
…so that you know that we aren’t making all of this up just to make you laugh (or at least to give us an awkward smile). They really are sad and confusing. Enjoy.
One of the more underrated comical aspects of ESPN is their consistently terrible NFL Power Rankings. Not only is it another opportunity for the Worldwide Leader in Sports to slobber all over the teams it loves and shaft the ones that it hates, but the rankings themselves often make no sense whatsoever. It’s hard to take them seriously when a sixth grader could’ve made his own list of the NFL’s top teams and probably would have come up with similar results.
Nonetheless, doing power rankings is a prolonged and painstakingly difficult task, so Kevin and I thought it would be more fun to just rip on ESPN’s weekly version. Enjoy.
Bryan Cranston will forever be known as Hal and Heisenberg to his fans, but I always enjoyed his role in Argo and mostly for that one scene. I envisioned meetings that John Elway and Gary Kubiak had about the quarterbacks this summer playing out very similarly to the ones our government had on how to deal with the Iran Hostage Crisis.
Elway: “You’re really going to start Trevor Siemian?”
Kubiak: “You gave me Sanchez and two guys who have never started a game. There are only bad options, it’s just about finding the best one.”
Elway: “And you don’t have a better bad idea than this?”
Kubiak: “This is the best bad idea I have, sir. By far.”
I’m sure I’m paraphrasing a tad, but yeah, I bet those meetings were pretty similar. That’s because the Broncos don’t currently have any good options at quarterback. Mark Sanchez continues to be haunted by the mistakes that have doomed his career, which may even cost him a spot on the roster. Paxton Lynch looked very much like a rookie against the Rams, missing open receivers and letting the defense rattle him. That leaves Trevor Siemian, the lesser of three evils. The least defective of a group of misfit toys.
The rumors of a decline for the defending champs was greatly exaggerated. The only thing in decline is the media’s ability to accurately predict what the Broncos are going to do. Maybe stop guessing that this team will fail? Crazy, I know. For those of you saying that it was only the Bears, well that’s what good teams do to bad teams. They pummel them in all three phases of the game en route to a 22-0 win. And how about Cody Latimer and Kapri Bibbs showing up big? That’s what we need to see from those guys at this point, and while one preseason game won’t secure anyone anything, it’s a good start. Hopefully they can keep it up.
Here are three other thoughts I had about last night’s game.
One of my favorite Terrell Davis moments came during his rookie season. TD was struggling to crack the running back rotation in training camp and it looked like he was ready to pack it in. As luck would have it, the Broncos were in Japan for a game against the 49ers and Davis couldn’t arrange a flight back to the United States. He wound up staying, played in the game and delivered a crushing hit on special teams that would change his fortunes forever.
Davis caught the attention of the coaching staff with that play and started getting more carries at running back. The rest is history. I love that story because a guy that no one was expecting much from literally forced his way into the starting lineup, and that brings us to Kapri Bibbs.
After running all over the NCAA in 2013, Bibbs was picked up by the Broncos and has spent the last two years trying to make the final roster. There’s no doubt that he’s talented, but that one signature play that will turn heads and prove his worth has eluded him thus far. And time is running out.
The annual training camp hype surrounding Cody Latimer has become a running gag of sorts between Kevin, myself and our buddy Ryan. We marvel at how the media comes away impressed with Latimer’s performance during these flag football practices despite the fact that he has accomplished a whole lot of nothing his first two years in the league. In fact, Ryan is so fed up with it that he actually wished death upon the guy. Then he promptly took it back, criticized the media for overhyping Latimer and then before I knew it, Kevin was faced with the horrifying prospect of losing all of his top Pokemon in Pokemon Go for a Magikarp named Cody Latimer.
Yep, things escalate quickly when Cody Latimer’s name gets brought up.
All kidding aside, it’s a rather baffling scenario to say the least. I have no doubt that Latimer makes some big plays in practice and by all accounts he’s a good person, but you know who else possessed those qualities? Kyle Orton. You know who Kyle Orton was benched for? Tim Tebow. I don’t care that it’s a different position because the same principal applies. Orton never performed when it mattered in games that counted and that’s the reason that Latimer has drawn the ire of Broncos fans everywhere, including Ryan.
To borrow a quote from Jon Gruden, having potential just means that he hasn’t done anything yet. When’s he going to do it already? Incidentally, “When’s he going to do it already” is a question that pretty much every girl I’ve dated has asked me, but that’s neither here nor there. Moving on.
There’s been an awakening. Have you felt it?
No, I’m not talking about the Force or Kylo Ren. This is all about the start of training camp and a merciful end to a very long offseason. The Broncos are going to start playing some actual football and there will be concrete stories worth discussing. We can finally put all of the pointless, high school drama behind us (at least until next year).
Naturally, most of the attention will be geared toward the quarterbacks. Everyone will be anxiously waiting for Mark Sanchez to screw up badly enough so that preseason darling Trevor Siemian or first-round pick Paxton Lynch gets a chance in the spotlight. Quarterbacks are always the top priority for the fans and media, even if they aren’t the most important one for the team.
Regardless of who winds up playing under center, it is imperative that the Broncos correct one of the weaknesses that has plagued them for the past couple of seasons: the offensive line. If they don’t, it’s not really going to matter who the starting quarterback is. They are all dead men walking.
The Super Bowl is the hardest championship to win in professional sports. “Bunk!” you might say. “You have to play 162 games just to make the playoffs in baseball, or have to topple the superteam Warriors or the Lebron-led Cavs in order to win the NBA Finals.” If you said that, I would agree that you made some good points, but I’d stand by my opinion.
Sure, the NFL season is only 16 games long and at most you only have to claim four victories to get that Super Bowl ring, equivalent to a series win in other sports. Those games are hard to pull out though, people, and it only takes one bad day for everything to come crashing down. Stink out the joint in an NFL playoff game and your season is over. No game two. No series to tie or opportunities for redemption. It was this level of failure during the most crucial times that cost John Fox his job here in Denver, and why despite all of their domination over the rest of the league, the Patriots have lifted the Lombardi trophy just one time over the past 11 years.
Resigning Von Miller may have seemed like an arduous task, mostly thanks to all of the silly and media manufactured drama, but it’s a day at the beach compared to what it will take for the Broncos to be back-to-back champions.
If you’ve been watching SportsCenter lately, you know that the experts don’t think much of the Broncos’ chances to defend their Super Bowl title. Apparently, the team is about to endure its first losing season since 2010, when some guy named McDaniels was sent by Bill Belichick to ruin the Broncos flaming out as a head coach. The losses of Brent (or is it Brad?) Osweiler, Malik Jackson and Danny Trevathan are insurmountable. Never mind the fact that the Broncos had some of the worst quarterback play in the league last season, or that Super Bowl MVP Von Miller and members of the No Fly Zone still spearhead the NFL’s no. 1 defense. The “experts” have spoken and 2016 is going to be a horrible year at Mile High, right?
Well, maybe for Sports Authority, but for the team? Not so much.
I don’t think I have to defend the idea that despite the loss of two starters, the defense will be pretty good again this season. Probably damn good. I also believe that it won’t be overly difficult for the Broncos to improve on their quarterback situation from a year ago, and that is indeed an idea worth exploring. Hit the jump and we’ll take a look.
Flimsy Film Critics 