Author Archives: Jesse Schaffer

Pegboards: Allow Us to Re-introduce Ourselves

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“You really should think about doing it.”

The story behind the formation of Pegboards isn’t really that unique, nor is it particularly exciting. Why would anyone want to know how a blog that is as inactive as this one came to be? More importantly, why would I want to write about that? The answer is a cliche, but an appropriate one: sometimes you have to go back to move forward.

It was 2013 and I was attending a psychology workshop at Auraria Campus. Seeing as it was spring break and the last place in the world I wanted to be was school, I was feeling a little out of sorts. This sensation only heightened when I got a text message from Kevin that revealed those words. “You really should think about doing it.” This was preceded by numerous other texts all containing a similar message. At that time, Mile High Report was hiring new writers to cover all things Broncos and Kevin was trying to talk me into applying. I resisted. He persisted. We both insisted!

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A New Hope for Star Wars

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This is a big weekend people. The future of Star Wars is at stake. I’m not talking about whether the film will be a box office smash. Why, that already happened in a flash!

Instead, I pose a simple question: can this new entry to a classic franchise resonate with people as thoroughly as the original films did? More importantly, will the new characters make us glad that we get to relive our childhood innocence once more and prevent the film from succumbing into an overhyped nostalgia trip?

The answer? We’ll see.

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No Country for ESPN

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One of the main reasons that Kevin and I started Pegboards was that we had a hunger to write creatively about all of our hobbies and interests, but nowhere to do it. So we started a blog. Not to make money or to enlighten all of our friends and family as to how smart we are, but simply because we enjoy it. And the truth is we don’t always produce as much content as we’d like to. In fact, sometimes months fall off the calendar and our site is more silent and motionless than Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. You can chalk some of that up to laziness but it isn’t due to a lack of a desire. We have jobs and commitments and life has always had a habit of getting in the way of things you want to do. It just happens.

But one thing that always drove us was the success of Grantland. Dealing in equal parts with pop culture and sports, Grantland deployed a host of talented, mostly unknown writers to cover as many subjects as possible. The idea I’m sure was to draw readers in by appealing to their passions, then build a following of loyalists that truly appreciated the talent and hard work that was on display. Grantland was Bill Simmons’ baby, and I think his primary objective was to build a place that he’d want to work at if he were a young writer. It was the beacon of hope for people like Kevin and I, and now it’s all over.

ESPN pulled the plug on Grantland last week about seven months after dismissing Simmons. You can’t read Zach Lowe, Bill Barnwell or Andy Greenwald anymore, but you can watch Michael Smith and Jemele Hill act.

I hate everything.

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WWE Battleground: Ask Not Why the Bell Tolls

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Ever since the Undertaker’s undefeated streak was conquered by Brock Lesnar at Wrestlemania 30, I’ve awaited the Deadman’s future with far more anticipation than I ever have before. When a dynasty comes to an abrupt close, when the impossible occurs, you often find yourself in an overwhelming state of suspense and disbelief. “I never thought it could be done,” you might say, “but what happens now?”

In the case of the Undertaker, what came next was a whole lot of nothing. No appearances. No matches. No references of any kind, save for Paul Heyman’s constant reminders that his client was now “the one in 21-1.” Taker wasn’t even around this year to help build toward his annual Wrestlemania bout, leaving Bray Wyatt to promote the match all on his own. Taker showed up for Wrestlemania 31, vanquished Wyatt and once more vanished into the darkness, leaving his fans with no indication on what his next move might be.

Until now.

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Game of Thrones: “Sons of the Harpy” Review

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I told them all to go to hell. You did not belong along across the world with the bloody stone men. You are the Princess Shireen of House Baratheon, and you are my daughter. 

Stannis Baratheon is a hard man to figure out. Back in season two, he was the scorned older brother with the most legitimate claim to the Iron Throne, yet he had no clue how to command the loyalty of the other lords. Renly knew how to do that. He was likable guy, charismatic and humble, yet he was younger than Stannis and no where close to the front of the line of succession. People supported him anyway because they didn’t want to support Stannis. The Lord of Dragonstone was not only extremely cold and rigid, he had forsaken the Faith of the Seven for the mysterious Lord of Light, represented by the mysterious and seductive Melisandre. Stannis couldn’t defeat his brother on the field of battle, so he used Melisandre’s magic to slay his own flesh and blood and steal all of the bannermen. When Stannis was defeated in the Battle of the Blackwater, he retreated back to Dragonstone, threw his friend Ser Davos into a dungeon and spent his time brooding and listening to Melisandre as she whispered into his ear.

In other words, Stannis was no one’s favorite character.

Flash forward to season five and my how things have changed. Not only was Stannis the only king who came to the aid of the Night’s Watch (you never saw the King in the North spare any of his men for the Wall) but now he’s the only one who wants to bring the Boltons to justice. And now we even get lovely little scenes like this, where Stannis reveals a side of himself that we never get to see. It was almost Ned Stark-esque in the way that Stannis revealed not only is he not ashamed of his daughter, but he did everything he could to save her when everyone else had already given up on her.

In other words, Stannis is one of the best characters on the show. He may have murdered his brother, but in the words of the Hound, there are others who are plenty worse.

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“The Road Warrior” Review

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Two days ago, I saw a vehicle that would haul that tanker. You want to get out of here? You talk to me. 

When I was a kid, I had a Mad Max video game for the NES. The object of the game was to drive around in your car, collect supplies, outlast the enemy cars in an arena and then defeat the boss at the end. Of course, I had to look all of that up because the game wasn’t particularly good and I don’t really remember playing it, but the point is I owned it. And until this week, it was my only experience with anything Mad Max related.

Despite its standing as one of the more innovative film franchises of the early 80’s, I somehow managed to avoid seeing any of the Mad Max movies during my 25 years on this planet. I know, right? I pride myself on being some kind of film buff but I haven’t even seen Mel Gibson wreak havoc in a post-apocalyptic wasteland? That just wasn’t going to cut it. I set out to rectify the situation and wound up picking up The Road Warrior on blu-ray. That’s right, I bought a movie I’ve never seen before just so I could watch it one time and review it for all of you lovely people.

Relax friends, I found it in the bargain bin at Walmart for like eight bucks. How crazy do you think I am?

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“Avengers: Age of Ultron” Review

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The city is flying, we’re fighting an army of robots and I have a bow and arrow. None of this makes sense, but I’m going back out there because it’s my job. And I can’t do my  job and babysit. It doesn’t matter what you did or who you were… If you step out that door, you are an Avenger. 

I want you to take a moment to appreciate how far we’ve come. Three years ago, the mere concept of an Avengers movie was completely preposterous. Six different heroes stuffed together in the same picture with a little over two hours to tell the story? Yeah, right, that will never work.

Flash forward to May 2015 and not only has Marvel proven that it does work, but now shared-universe films are all the rage in Hollywood. DC is fast-tracking its own cinematic universe by throwing Batman and Superman together in a live-action movie for the first time and hoping for the best. Disney believes it can recreate Marvel’s magic with Star Wars and already a new trilogy and numerous spinoffs are in the works. What was once groundbreaking and innovative has become standard operating procedure at every major film studio, and while the novelty of an Avengers movie may not have the shine that it did three years ago, there’s no denying that seeing our heroes band together on the big screen remains an outrageously good time.

So be sure to soak it all in and remember how fortunate we all are to see such a healthy marriage between different mediums. And while Avengers: Age of Ultron may not exceed its own lofty expectations, it wasn’t for a lack of trying. I mean holy cow, they threw everything but the kitchen sink to try and raise that bar again.

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Game of Thrones: “High Sparrow” Review

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Welcome home Lady Stark. The North remembers. 

Much like Lady Sansa, I found our return trip to Winterfell to be oddly disturbing. It doesn’t feel like the same place anymore. Not with the treacherous Boltons installed as the leaders and especially without the presence of a single Stark when she entered through the gate. Unbeknownst to any of them, Stannis had planned on marching on Winterfell with the newly christened Jon Stark to rectify that very problem. But that wasn’t Jon’s destiny. He’s where he belongs, settling matters at the Wall between the Night’s Watch and the Wildlings while the White Walkers continue plotting and planning on the other side. Sansa, on the other hand, isn’t part of the Night’s Watch. She will likely never swing a sword or be a heroine in some great battle, but it is still very much her burden now to help reclaim the land that was stolen from her family.

If the North remembers, then Sansa surely hasn’t forgotten who is to blame for the downfall of the Starks. And there she is now, set to be married to the son of the man who plunged a knife into her brother’s heart. As Littlefinger once told her, “Given the opportunity, what do we do to those who hurt the ones we love?”

We’re about to find out just how much Sansa has been taking Littlefinger’s lessons to heart, and just what she’s willing to do to those who killed the ones that she loves.

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Game of Thrones: “The House of Black and White” Review

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We’ve already got a ruler. Everywhere has already got a ruler. Every pile of shit on the side of every road has someone’s banner hanging from it.  

Tyrion Lannister’s greatest asset has always been his wit. Whether he is formulating a strategy on the fly or cracking a joke, he always knows what to say and what to do at precisely the right moment. It is that mixture of keen intellect and deadpan humor that subverts Tyrion’s status as a dwarf, and it’s what has kept him alive for this long while bigger and stronger men have dropped around him like flies. Beneath that lies something even more valuable: a basic understanding of the world and how things are. He and Varys have that in common. It’s why they have made such a great team in the past and why they currently find themselves together in a stuffy wooden box, riding into the unknown.

There are two kinds of rulers in Westeros: ones who are monsters and ones who are repulsive. Varys believes that Tyrion is the key to establishing Daenerys Targaryen as the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, but Tyrion has been a slave to a monster before and has no intention of finding himself in that position again. Considering that the last Targaryen in power was known as the Mad King, his reluctance to follow Varys’ plan may be well-founded.

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Game of Thrones: “The Wars to Come” Review

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We all must choose: man or woman, young or old, lord or peasant, our choices are the same. We choose light or we choose darkness. We choose good or we choose evil. We choose the true God, or the false.

(This will be a pretty spoiler-heavy review for episode 1 of season 5 and for Game of Thrones in general. DO NOT READ unless you are caught up or are indifferent to having shit spoiled for you. You’ve been warned.)

When Game of Thrones first premiered, Westeros was a stable country that relied on the establishment of its noble houses to keep the peace in the seven kingdoms. Maybe not every lord saw eye to eye, but no one was willing to risk disrupting that kind of tranquility over a meaningless grudge. Part of that is due in thanks to all of the experienced soldiers and commanders that were at the head of almost every faction and family: Ned Stark, Tywin Lannister, Robert Baratheon, Lord Commander Mormont and on and on it goes. Flash forward to season 5 and that’s simply just not the case.

Ever since Ilyn Payne lopped off Ned Stark’s head, we’ve been conditioned to expect anyone who doesn’t play the game of thrones as shrewdly or quickly as others will likely suffer a grisly demise. Westeros thrives on chaos, you see, and getting swept up in the madness without a contingency plan is akin to joining a game of paintball with a slingshot. By the time you realize that you’ve made a mistake and weren’t prepared, it’s too late. Your enemies will celebrate with a barrel of wine while everything you love and hold dear turns to ash around you.

Not every lord or lady truly understands how to play the game, but even those that do aren’t safe from rapidly evolving circumstances. Exhibit A: Tywin Lannister, the Bill Belichick of Westeros, who always seemed to be 10 steps ahead of everyone who tried to thwart him. The mastermind behind a massacre like the Red Wedding is certainly not the most honorable or popular person, but I’ll be damned if he doesn’t get results. And yet, despite all of the success and victories that Tywin accumulated over the years, he was undone by a member of his own family. How ironic that he withstood so many wars and battles, yet in the end it was his dwarf of a son who ended his life. As Tywin’s corpse awaited a certificate of death from all of his rivals in Westeros, Jaime and Cersei were trying to make sense of a future that is grim and hopelessly uncertain.

After all, what chance does the future have when the boys of the new generation can’t even hold their shields up and swing their swords like girls with palsy?

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