Author Archives: Flimsy Film Critics

A Letter to Gary Kubiak

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Dear Coach Kubiak,

It’s impossible to sum up in just a few paragraphs how much you have meant to the Denver Broncos. Or at least we thought it was. Then Von Miller wrote this classy and sincere farewell to you and made us look bad. We may as well be another helpless right tackle.

Quite frankly, you deserve a lot more than a letter from a couple of fans. As far as we’re concerned, you deserve the neverending gratitude from all of Broncos Country, and free meals at Elway’s for the rest of your life. That probably still wouldn’t be enough to thank you for all that you’ve done for this franchise and this community. A letter certainly isn’t enough.

But we’re going to try and do you justice, Coach Kube. You always gave us your best, so it’s only right that you receive as much from us.

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Power Ranking Ramblings: Week 17

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Welcome back for another round of Power Ranking Ramblings! The rankings that we crank out every week are identical in order to the nonsensical ones that ESPN spews out every week. This is partly because creating power rankings from scratch is a painstakingly lengthy process and Kevin gave me the death glare when I suggested that we come up with our own. However, the main reason we do it that way is because ESPN’s rankings are… well, they are just awful. You will seldom come across something as overly biased and ill-conceived as ESPN’s opinion on who the best teams in the league are. And it’s a lot of fun to call them out on this, so the point of our rankings is to rip on ESPN’s version as much as possible.

Or at least that’s how it started. I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, but it’s been a fairly abysmal year for the NFL. Bad officiating, bad games and most importantly, bad teams. There are three squads in each conference who have a legitimate shot at winning the Super Bowl, and after that it’s a whole bunch of meh. So while making fun of the Worldwide Leader in Sports and its rampant stupidity is always a good time, we can scarcely allow the league’s overall mediocrity to skid by unscathed.

 

Thanks for sticking with us this year. We’ll be back next season.

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Power Ranking Ramblings: Week 16

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Welcome back for another round of Power Ranking Ramblings! The rankings that we crank out every week are identical in order to the nonsensical ones that ESPN spews out every week. This is partly because creating power rankings from scratch is a painstakingly lengthy process and Kevin gave me the death glare when I suggested that we come up with our own. However, the main reason we do it that way is because ESPN’s rankings are… well, they are just awful. You will seldom come across something as overly biased and ill-conceived as ESPN’s opinion on who the best teams in the league are. And it’s a lot of fun to call them out on this, so the point of our rankings is to rip on ESPN’s version as much as possible.

Or at least that’s how it started. I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, but it’s been a fairly abysmal year for the NFL. Bad officiating, bad games and most importantly, bad teams. There are three squads in each conference who have a legitimate shot at winning the Super Bowl, and after that it’s a whole bunch of meh. So while making fun of the Worldwide Leader in Sports and its rampant stupidity is always a good time, we can scarcely allow the league’s overall mediocrity to skid by unscathed.

While we didn’t get this out before the Eagles/Giants game started, go check out ESPN’s moronic meanderings…

http://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/18303790/nfl-2016-week-16-power-rankings-dallas-cowboys-new-england-patriots-seattle-seahawks

…and then see how many picks Eli has thrown by the time you get back and read ours. Happy holidays everybody!

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Power Ranking Ramblings: Week 15

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Welcome back for another round of Power Ranking Ramblings! The rankings that we crank out every week are identical in order to the nonsensical ones that ESPN spews out every week. This is partly because creating power rankings from scratch is a painstakingly lengthy process and Kevin gave me the death glare when I suggested that we come up with our own. However, the main reason we do it that way is because ESPN’s rankings are… well, they are just awful. You will seldom come across something as overly biased and ill-conceived as ESPN’s opinion on who the best teams in the league are. And it’s a lot of fun to call them out on this, so the point of our rankings is to rip on ESPN’s version as much as possible.

Or at least that’s how it started. I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, but it’s been a fairly abysmal year for the NFL. Bad officiating, bad games and most importantly, bad teams. There are three squads in each conference who have a legitimate shot at winning the Super Bowl, and after that it’s a whole bunch of meh. So while making fun of the Worldwide Leader in Sports and its rampant stupidity is always a good time, we can scarcely allow the league’s overall mediocrity to skid by unscathed.

For those of you out there who refuse to believe that ESPN is really this dumb, you can see for yourself here…

http://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/18214694/nfl-2016-week-14-power-rankings-dallas-cowboys-new-england-patriots-oakland-raiders

…and then our version will be waiting for you when you get back. Like an early Christmas present!

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Walking Dead Death Rankings – Season 7 Ep. 8 Preview

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Welcome back to Pegboards’ Walking Dead Death Rankings!

(Remember, every week Jesse and Kevin will provide rankings based on who they think will die next. The further down the list, the more likely they are to die. They get points based on where the character is on our list. For instance, if Rick dies this week then I will have four points and Jesse will have two points.)

Click here to catch up on our previous hilarious insights.

Click below to see our score. Warning: TV spoilers start now (no comic spoilers):

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Power Ranking Ramblings: Week 14

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Welcome back for another round of Power Ranking Ramblings! The rankings that we crank out every week are identical in order to the nonsensical ones that ESPN spews out every week. This is partly because creating power rankings from scratch is a painstakingly lengthy process and Kevin gave me the death glare when I suggested that we come up with our own. However, the main reason we do it that way is because ESPN’s rankings are… well, they are just awful. You will seldom come across something as overly biased and ill-conceived as ESPN’s opinion on who the best teams in the league are. And it’s a lot of fun to call them out on this, so the point of our rankings is to rip on ESPN’s version as much as possible.

Or at least that’s how it started. I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, but it’s been a fairly abysmal year for the NFL. Bad officiating, bad games and most importantly, bad teams. There are three squads in each conference who have a legitimate shot at winning the Super Bowl, and after that it’s a whole bunch of meh. So while making fun of the Worldwide Leader in Sports and its rampant stupidity is always a good time, we can scarcely allow the league’s overall mediocrity to skid by unscathed.

For those of you out there who refuse to believe that ESPN is really this dumb, you can see for yourself here…

http://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/18214694/nfl-2016-week-14-power-rankings-dallas-cowboys-new-england-patriots-oakland-raiders

…and then our version will be waiting for you when you get back. Like an early Christmas present!

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Walking Dead Death Rankings – Season 7 Ep. 7 Preview

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Welcome back to Pegboards’ Walking Dead Death Rankings!

(Remember, every week Jesse and Kevin will provide rankings based on who they think will die next. The further down the list, the more likely they are to die. They get points based on where the character is on our list. For instance, if Rick dies this week then I will have four points and Jesse will have two points.)

Click here to catch up on our previous hilarious insights.

Click below to see our score. Warning: TV spoilers start now (no comic spoilers):

Continue reading →

Power Ranking Ramblings: Week 13

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Welcome back for another round of Power Ranking Ramblings! The rankings that we crank out every week are identical in order to the nonsensical ones that ESPN spews out every week. This is partly because creating power rankings from scratch is a painstakingly lengthy process and Kevin gave me the death glare when I suggested that we come up with our own. However, the main reason we do it that way is because ESPN’s rankings are… well, they are just awful. You will seldom come across something as overly biased and ill-conceived as ESPN’s opinion on who the best teams in the league are. And it’s a lot of fun to call them out on this, so the point of our rankings is to rip on ESPN’s version as much as possible.

Or at least that’s how it started. I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, but it’s been a fairly abysmal year for the NFL. Bad officiating, bad games and most importantly, bad teams. There are three squads in each conference who have a legitimate shot at winning the Super Bowl, and after that it’s a whole bunch of meh. So while making fun of the Worldwide Leader in Sports and its rampant stupidity is always a good time, we can scarcely allow the league’s overall mediocrity to skid by unscathed.

As usual, in case you want to confirm that we are in no way fabricating these rankings just to make ESPN look bad, you can take a look at theirs first…

http://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/18150681/nfl-2016-week-13-power-rankings-dallas-cowboys-oakland-raiders-new-england-patriots

…but only if you come back and read ours. We’re starving writers, man. We need as many hits as we can get!

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Walking Dead Death Rankings – Season 7 Ep6 Preview

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Welcome back to Pegboards’ Walking Dead Death Rankings!

(Remember, every week Jesse and Kevin will provide rankings based on who they think will die next. The further down the list, the more likely they are to die. They get points based on where the character is on our list. For instance, if Rick dies this week then I will have four points and Jesse will have two points.)

Click here to catch up on our previous hilarious insights.

Click below to see our score. Warning: TV spoilers start now (no comic spoilers):

Continue reading →

Power Ranking Ramblings: Week 12

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When Kevin and I started rambling about ESPN’s NFL Power Rankings, we had a very specific idea for what we wanted to do. The problem is I’m not sure that I ever made what we were doing all that clear and lately there’s been some confusion. Allow me to take a moment to illuminate everyone who isn’t quite sure what the purpose of our rankings are.

The rankings that we crank out every week are identical in order to the nonsensical ones that ESPN spews out every week. This is partly because creating power rankings from scratch is a painstakingly lengthy process and Kevin gave me the death glare when I suggested that we come up with our own. However, the main reason we do it that way is because ESPN’s rankings are… well, they are just awful. You will seldom come across something as overly biased and ill-conceived as ESPN’s opinion on who the best teams in the league are. And it’s a lot of fun to call them out on this, so the point of our rankings is to rip on ESPN’s version as much as possible.

Or at least that’s how it started. I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, but it’s been a fairly abysmal year for the NFL. Bad officiating, bad games and most importantly, bad teams. There are three squads in each conference who have a legitimate shot at winning the Super Bowl, and after that it’s a whole bunch of meh. So while making fun of the Worldwide Leader in Sports and its rampant stupidity is always a good time, we can scarcely allow the league’s overall mediocrity to skid by unscathed.

Just in case you want to verify that we didn’t alter one spot on ESPN’s gleeful rundown of the teams it loves and hates, you can check out their rankings here…

http://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/18094746/nfl-2016-week-12-power-rankings-dallas-cowboys-seattle-seahawks-new-england-patriots

…and then ours will seem even more entertaining to you. It’s Thanksgiving after all and if we can make you laugh or even force a slight grin, that’s a win for us. Enjoy.

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